Ezra's Ramblings

What Happens When You Take 3 Weeks to Write A Post

2011-04-20T13:06:00.010-04:00

I think that when you write a blog, the "Title" box should be below the entry. I mean, many times I want to blog but I don't know what direction the entry is going to take--I'd rather sit down and let my fingers become one with the keyboard and just let my thoughts flow forth in all their random glory. And then see if there is anything meaningful in it. [EDIT: You can now see from the title why this opening paragraph makes sense to me]

Which many times there isn't, but people who care about me seem to still appreciate reading my words to feel comfort that I'm still indeed, alive, and not a false internet persona being perpetuated by disturbed trolls working under the guise that I'm important enough to convince the world that I'm still alive.

(I am still alive.)

What has been going on otherwise? Well, my boyfriend and I have had two very very different and very awesome weekends.

A few weekends ago we stayed in LA and did very domestic things--shopping, cleaning, cooking dinner together and just being a couple. It was very nice because we've been together for 15 months now and we still just enjoy each others company.

Then Easter weekend, while I was still at work, I started getting communiqué's from all sides--texts, IM's facebook pokes--about Wil having a great idea he wanted to share with me.

VEGAS.

And somehow, I found myself released from work early, at about 3:30pm, to rush home (Wil had already spent much of the day tidying the apartment so we wouldn't leave a mess for our roommates) and pack for the 5 hour drive to Las Vegas.

It was so crazy to realize that we are both successful enough before 30 that we can just randomly decide to go to Vegas and have a weekend there. Wil got us an amazing room with the most fantastic view of the Bellagio fountains, and we spent our day relaxing in the room, eating McDonalds and Todd English in the same day.

Oh, and we went to the spa, used the dry sauna, the steam room, and the hot tub, and then Wil sprung for a couples massage... it was incredible.

We must have looked so cute because on the drive home, we passed a red convertible with four cute gay guys in it. They looked at us (it was clear we were gay and a couple by our HRC and No on Prop 8 Bumper sticker) and smiled, and kept looking. It was fun.

The humorous thing was that we lost sight of them outside of Vegas but when we got into LA, they had caught up to us and waved again. ;)

It took me weeks to write this entry. Perhaps I need to realize that blogging is something timely and topical and that I should try not to put off my updates so often.

Ciclavia 2 and other thoughts

2011-04-11T13:54:00.006-04:00

I haven't blogged in a long time, and perhaps it's because my standards got too high. Perhaps I felt like I had to write really well to make people want to read.

But in reality, I don't need to write well. The writing is merely an exercise for getting my jumbled thoughts straightened out it my head.

You see, I used to journal. Yes, it's dorky. Yes, Doug Funnie was the last character on TV I remember doing it. However, I journaled most of my life. Especially the hard times. That's what journals are for I think. Helping you cope through the hard times that inevitably rear their heads.

Yesterday I brought Wil out for CicLAvia 2, the second CicLAvia event in Los Angeles history. I attended the first one and I tell you there was a palpable peace and joy in the air that day. Wil, being from Holland, knows first hand how amazing bike transportation can be, and I was thrilled to show him a side of Los Angeles that sparkled--thousands of people riding together for fun, being courteous and peaceful.

When we got there, he was initially concerned about the festival-like atmosphere at Heliotrope and Melrose. We had to get off our bikes and walk through the crowd.

But his excitement rose when we started down Heliotrope--suddenly the sounds of busy LA faded and the air filled with whirring bicycle tires, laughing people, and thousands of smiles. It was amazing.

Being the second time this ever happened, I expected it to be bigger, but it was easily 3-4 times bigger. Articles I've read this morning claim "130,000" which means either the numbers for cicLAvia 1 were grossly over estimated, or the new estimate is about 170,000 short. If CicLAvia 1 had 100,000 people as claimed, then there were easily 300,000 this time. I personally brought 3 new people, and almost everyone I know brought 3 new people, so... you do the math. This paragraph is long enough.

We rode all the way to Hollenbeck park, enjoyed a Coca-Cola (with real sugar in a glass bottle!) and headed toward little Tokyo to enjoy Shabu-Shabu house.

We go to the Shabu Shabu House almost every weekend. The owner recognizes us and always is so friendly--he even gave me a delightful dose of manzai humor. It went like this:

Him: You bike here?

Me: (Observing that we usually have to wait 45 minutes to eat and but we were seated immediately) Yes! The event is going to get bigger so you will have more business!

Him: Oh No! (Complete with genuine concerned look)

Yeah, I thought it was pretty hilarious too.

Anyway, we ate quickly and got back on the route. But immediately there was more tension--there were more people being snide and talking about others around them. On girl even remarked that she felt on edge the whole time because it was so crowded.

As I dived west on 6th, I spotted a Bank of America, and I'd been meaning to get some cash. So I announced to Wil that I was going to stop. So I moved towards the middle and went to flip a u-turn.

That's when I cut off a cyclist going very fast. He was apparently passing me on the right and I turned in front of him. He hit my back tire and flew over the handlebars, landing in the street. I ran over and asked if he was alright, and profusely apologizing. He yelled at me that "Sorry isn't going to fix my shoulder".

I felt so ashamed and embarrassed. The cops made us exchange information, and he was generally a pretty good sport considering he had dislocated his shoulder. He joked that he was going to have to go to Prada to get a new suit (because his arm was now longer from being dislocated)

Anyway, my back tire rim was warped, so I was able to ride slowly to the next ride line station and hop on the train. I was silent and on the brink of tears most of the time. Wil knows me well enough to not try to talk about it, so we rode almost all the way home in silence. I felt so ashamed and embarrassed.

Spent most of the day after that feeling guilty, like a fool, for causing someone else in-advertant bodily harm. It took me a lot of time to relax and start forgiving myself. Even now I feel so embarrassed I don't want to ride anymore.

But then I remember the words that he actually said before he climbed into the ambulance: "Don't stop riding because of me". Because he wasn't mad at me and didn't hate me. He hated the pain he was in and that I'd been a bit careless, but he didn't want me to get afraid to get on my bike because of something like this.

So I am glad he said that. I pray that he will be understanding and will not sue me.

Anyway, CicLAvia is already to crowded on its current route. We've gotta have more room to fit all the people!

Analysis of "Tap to the Super Highway"

2010-07-16T12:26:00.012-04:00

Tap to the Super Highway is a song written and performed for the 1997 Film "The Brave Little Toaster To The Rescue" in an attempt to explain the future of networks and computers as tools to enlighten and connect humanity. The upbeat soulful energy of the song is paired with anthropomorphic computers, modems, speakers and keyboards that dance and sing, lead by three Macintosh Powermac G3 computers. The well-endowed "girls" (computers with floppy and compact disks sticking out at key points) sing louder and higher with praises of a new system of communication, a language as close to Telepathy as may ever exist. They belt out promises of a utopian network of humans, where "no one ever has to feel alone". But through the lens of 2010, the true prophecies and promises of Tap to the Super Highway have become clear, a future world of physical isolation where human interaction and touch is all but eliminated, our natural desire for companionship sublimated and supplemented ad-naseum by unfeeling machines.

The song opens when the computers literally BREAK DOWN the door to the room, barging in uninvited, which is obviously a reference to the rapid appearance and adoption of the internet. Initially, the internet was mostly text based. IRC clients allowed users to chat and view text based sites, but this required a higher level of computer savvy to navigate than most people possessed.

Therefore, the early internet banished the "stupid monkey" users by virtue of it's complicated nature. As time progressed, the internet became "kinder" allowing the average user to make himself "a little smarter". The monkeys were let out of the cages when the internet became more a intuitive point-and-click interface. Now, the internet is a wash with people spouting their opinions on forums and comment sections who never would have had the intelligence to make their voice heard before. Now, they are suddenly placed on equal footing with their intellectual superiors.

It degrades the quality of the internet because anyone can write an opinion (myself included) and it is just as easy to access and read as a collegiate dissertation on the same subject. Therefore, the internet has in some ways made it easier to find information, but harder to find facts and truth.

The song also tackles media sharing and social networking sites and their effect on our creative expression and personality.

The yellow electric blanket (Blankie) dances before suddenly being sucked into a printer, which then shoots out several color copies of Blankie in various states of dance. While perhaps just a cute thing to depict, from a 2010 perspective, the photocopies easily represent how our reality has been sucked up by our online identity. Social networking sites like Facebook and Myspace have boxes where you list your former interests--the things you did before you spent all your time on the internet, writing about them. They allow you to upload pictures of yourself doing the things you used to love doing--before you became sucked into the digital realm, your real existence replaced with facsimiles of reality, your avatars, accounts and logins.

Vacuum attempts his own self expression through dance. However, he turns and is horrified to find that he has been videotaped, and his silly dance has been replicated on a wall of screens behind him. He is ridiculed by everyone else for his expression. How many viral videos have originated organically from self-expression or utility, and shared (often without permission of the creator) on YouTube? A classic example of this phenomenon is Aleksey Vayner, who created a 6 minute video resume which he sent in with a job application. The video began making it's rounds through e-mail and in spite of being confidential material, someone uploaded it to Youtube. (You can watch the videohere, as it is no longer on youtube.). It has spawned parody and ridicule. Later Vayner appeared on MSNBC and stated that the video was never intended for public consumption. Yet in 2010, it seems everything must be shared.

On of the most startling lines of the song is when they sing "we lead the way through the great unknown. to a nation of our own. where you'll know what she knows and she'll know what he knows! and no-one ever has to feel alone!". The visuals depict a girl sitting back to back with a boy, both using computers, before pulling out to reveal many users, all tapping away on their keyboards, physically isolated from one another. How exciting that must have seemed at the time! But now that we have arrived at that point--that time "where no one ever has to feel alone", we are often left pining for the "good old days" where you were actually able to be alone! With cellphones, personal computers and wifi, we are never disconnected from our constant state of conversation with our social network, yet we rarely spend any physical time with most of them. Why bother meeting someone to discuss the days events when you can live tweet your every thought to the whole world. It's so much more effecient then arranging a physcial get together. Which means that when we do meet our friends, there is nothing to talk about. We are already acutely aware of our friends' every thought.

While it's obvious that this song was not made or animated to be a stark prediction of the future, it has become an artifact that represents our expectations of a new technology. Looking back, we see how their expectations came to fruition, in both good and bad ways. Sites like wikipedia have made knowledge easier than ever to find, which certainly benefits our society. Youtube has pushed the envelope of entertainment--allowing a home movie classic like "The Brave Little Toaster To The Rescue" to live on and have new life. We can't live without the internet, yet it isn't the dream we had either. We're settling comfortably into the digital age, and we are already able to look back and see how far we've come, and what promises were kept, and what ones were broken.

Immigration Commentary

2010-04-29T12:18:00.002-04:00

It's very easy to get sucked into vitriolic debate regarding immigration. I can't afford my sanity, so here is all I'm going to say:

People don't hate illegal immigrants, they hate POOR PEOPLE (real or perceived).

As illegal immigrants from Latin and South America are typically poor (or perceived as poor), people want them gone. We've been taught that poverty breeds crime, vagrancy, homelessness and decay. Sadly, poverty and racism are very close cousins, as people and employers know when someone is illegal, they can't complain if they get less than minimum wage. They have no rights. And so they know they can get away with wage slavery.

Illegal immigration is bad for the immigrants and the American people, but so is AZ's new bill.

I hope and pray we can find a solution that slows/stop illegal immigration without infringing on the rights of our fellow Citizens civil rights.

Directing Dream

2010-04-15T10:40:00.003-04:00

I had a dream I was directing a really big budget film (at least for a student film) and all these people my age or younger where my crew. All I knew is that I was the director, and I had no idea who was my producer, my 1st AD, my DP, etc. Everyone was just kinda wandering around and nothing was getting done. I was so embarrassed that I didn't know my crew that I just tried to deduce the people who where in what jobs by observing. But it did not become apparent, and because I wasn't working with my people to set up shots, nothing was getting done, and over the course of the morning, everyone found themselves in some kind of break-room watching TV.

I finally came to my realization and I leapt up on the arm of the chair, clapped my hands and said "HEY! Good morning everyone, got a few questions that are a bit embarrassing but I'm the director so listen up. Who here is the 1st AD?"

An Asian guy timidly raised his hand.

"You're the first AD?" He nodded. "Would you mind telling me why everyone is watching TV?"

He started to speak, and I stopped him. "Did you make a shooting schedule?" He shook his head no.

"Then you're useless."

I turned to the room. "Who is a good 1st AD?" a few hands shot up. I fired him and elected two fresh faced kids (a boy and a girl) to be co-AD's (or 1st and 2nd if you prefer). And quickly, I began reassigning jobs, and things started happening.

I felt empowered again! I was in charge, it was I who could make all the decisions--embarrassment or shame be damned. Maybe I hired this guy in the first place, and forgot... or maybe I didn't select my crew, another misstep. But I do know that after I got over feeling ashamed for making a mistake, I was able to correct it.

Guilt, shame and fear are undoubtedly Satan's tools to damn us up from finding our true selves and our purposes here on earth.

Anyway, happy Thursday all!

The Breakfast Club vs. American Teen

2009-08-05T12:42:00.003-04:00

So I was given a gift subscription to Netflix! And while browsing and building my queue, I encountered a movie called American Teen. The cover art struck me as oddly familiar. And that's because it's a direct parody of The Breakfast Club, right down the the tagline.

TBC: "Five strangers with nothing in common, except each other"

AT: "They were five total strangers, with nothing in common, except the school they went to."

WTF? It seems that someone took a classic John Hughes film and modeled a "documentary" around it. I guess I have to watch it as see.

You Know Nothing (About Comedy)

2009-07-02T14:26:00.002-04:00

I was reading comments on a the last truly comedic video I made:

And I came across this little exchange I made 7 months ago. It makes me smile even today... hopefully you'll laugh a little too.

And if not--keep it to yourself!

Mortified - San Francisco!!!

2009-04-13T13:10:00.002-04:00

Soooo, I'm going to be performing my Mortified piece in San Francisco this coming weekend!

WHAT: MORTIFIED SF (Ezra reading his childhood journals)
WHEN: Friday, April 17, 2009 (and an Encore performance on Saturday, April 18!)
TIME: 8:00 PM
VENUE: Make-Out Room
ADDRESS: 3225 22nd St, 94110
COST: $12 adv ; $15 door
TICKETS: By Web

It's sure to be a fantastical blast! Rave reviews poured out of Los Angeles after Ezra's break-out reading, audience members laughed, cried and cheered! You will too!

I have a comp ticket for both nights, but I don't know anybody in San Francisco--so if you know someone who can make it who is awesome and deserving, let me know!

AIG Lynch Mob

2009-03-18T20:00:00.002-04:00

I would join a lynch mob to kill AIG executives receiving bonuses. Don't give me this "contractual obligation" bullshit. You have no money to pay these bonuses. Therefore, you don't pay them. When I bought a plane ticket on Independence Air and they went UNDER, what happened to my contractually obligated flight?!?! They ceased operations, and I never got a cent.

Same deal--you would have been bankrupted and gotten NO BONUSES if John and Jane Taxpayer hadn't bailed your asses out. Insolvency=No Money to pay bonuses.

In my job, if I burn the building down and bankrupt the company, I don't get a bonus, I get fired, and never work again.

Unless you work for AIG, apparently.

FUCK YOU AIG.

Seriously.

Eggs

2009-02-25T14:28:00.005-05:00

Last night I had a dream about eggs.

I don't know exactly why--perhaps its because I've eaten eggs for breakfast twice in the last 4 days, and I've only had eggs three times this year, so it's overload.

Anyway, in the dream, I was rummaging in the fridge, and I kept finding half full cartons of expired eggs. One behind the water filter, another tucked behind the condiments, and another nestled beneath the produce.

There is some truth to this egg waste--for some inexplicable reason, a 6 pack of white eggs costs 1.79 at Ralphs and a dozen costs 1.99. My bargain hunting, cost saving mind can't fathom 20 cents for 6 additional eggs. "And plus" I reason to myself "I can always hard-boil the extras when they get past expiration".
It's been a learning experience--so far I've yet to boil my eggs exactly right--just a little too soft in the middle.

"Why am I soft in the middle? The rest of my life is so hard! I need a photo opportunity! I want a shot at redemption! Don't wanna end up a cartoon in a cartoon graveyard!"

I do burst out in song, so I figured, why not do it on my blog?

In closing, I wanted to share something HORRIFYING with you. It's called a Century Egg.

"Century egg, also known as preserved egg, hundred-year egg, thousand-year egg, and thousand-year-old egg, is a Chinese cuisine ingredient made by preserving duck, chicken or quail eggs in mixture of clay, ash, salt, lime, and rice straw for several weeks to several months, depending on the method of processing. After the process is completed, the yolk becomes a dark green, cream-like substance with a strong odor of sulphur and ammonia, while the white becomes a dark brown, transparent jelly with little flavour or taste. The transforming agent in the century egg is its alkaline material, which gradually raises the pH of the egg from around 9 to 12 or more. This chemical process breaks down some of the complex, flavorless proteins and fats, which produces a variety of smaller flavourful compounds."

I told you it was shocking.

I'm Mortified!

2009-02-11T12:39:00.002-05:00

Guess what everybody! I received an e-mail the other day from Anne at Mortified--the comedic excavation of childhood angst that I auditioned for back in early January:

So, i talked to neil and we do want to have you in the march show!

Yay!

So on March 11th, peeps, I will be reading some "angst written" stuff from my journals.

So here's the breakdown--

WHAT: Mortified LA
WHEN: Wednesday, March 11, 2009
TIME: 8:00 PM
VENUE: King King
ADDRESS: 6555 Hollywood Blvd., 90028

COST: $15 advance, $20 at door.

I'm very excited, and hope to see you all there!

Hash House Harriers

2009-02-03T12:25:00.011-05:00

On Saturday, I went to Woodley Park with my roommate Joe. While there, we took a walk over the the Sepulveda Basin Dam. This flood control dam protects the San Fernando Valley from washing away during the rainy season.

While there, we climbed up and over the spillways of the dam, which are very steep and require a good running start to surmount. (Video forthcoming)

While at the top of the spillway, I looked out into the channel of the Los Angeles river. Three middle aged white men in t-shirts, shorts and sneakers ran along the riverbed. As they ran, I noticed that every 100 feet or so, one of the men would reach into a plastic shopping bag and hurl a handful of white powder into the wall of the channel.

"What in the hell?" My mind, hard-wired into the post-9/11 mentality, immediately assumed the worst. Terrorists were putting anthrax in the Los Angeles river.

Silly terrorists, don't you know the LA River is already poison?

I was contemplating in my mind, what to do. I'd hate to have the deaths of thousands on my conscience for not speaking up, but at the same time, I knew there had to be a logical explanation. As I was thinking this, a second group of folks seemed to come up towards the dam. I shouted out to them.

"Do you know what's going on?"

"We're Hash House Harriers" he replied.

"Do you know how crazy and suspicious it looks to be throwing white powder into a body of water? I was this close to calling the police!"

He waved his hands above his head "No, no! It's baking powder, it's a biodegradable trail marker." He climbed up a pipe attached to the spillway as he spoke. "we've been around since the 40's. We blaze trails and drink beer."

I laughed. He continued. "We once did a trail in an Ikea in Connecticut, and we were brought up on Federal charges. Dismissed, of course."

The little explorer in me was so enraptured by this amazingly adventurous concept. Blazing a trial, it ties in with all my favorite activities, exploring, geocaching, hiking, urban exploration and infiltration. Of course, I don't drink, and it seems like that's supposed to be half the point for this group.

Needless to say, it was fun to encounter this, and maybe I'll try it out someday. Just thought I'd share.

I'm Not Dead, Just Working

2009-01-30T12:11:00.003-05:00

--which is a good thing. It seems everyone I know who moved out here after me has had problems finding employment. (Especially employment relating to their field of study)

I'm glad, privileged, JOYOUS that I have a steady job that pays well--very well, in that I get overtime and double-time occasionally. It's a great company to work for and I'm growing a lot.

This weekend I've got some plans to hang with friends on Super Bowl Sunday, not to watch the game--more to hang out and watch the commercials--after all, three spots will have been personally QC'd by me (not that I was the only one doing it, might you)

Anyway, what else? Well, life limps along at subsonic speeds. I am still living in California, and loving the wonderful spring weather. :) I know, winter is like already over, and I'm totally fine with that.

I'm going to be taking my trip to Yosemite that I won on the Price Is Right in April, I've had the dates confirmed--now I just need to find someone to go with me...

Anyway, just wanted to give everyone a heads up that I'm still here, would love to hear from you.

CRASH!

2009-01-25T08:14:00.005-05:00

I've been up since 4:30, when I was awoken by the sound of a woman screaming.

"Help, help us, somebody help!"

It was one of the most scary things I've ever heard. I jumped out of bed and ran to my window, opening it, trying to assess if it was safe to go investigate. My worst fear was that this woman was being attacked, or raped.

It was a car wreck. My roomate and I both ran out as his girlfriend dialed 911. "Grab the first aid kit", Joe reminded me. I ran out, and the pictures tell the tale. An SUV had hit a parked car flipped, and the passengers were trying to crawl out. Other men had gotten out just before and got the first woman pulled out. Coolant was on the ground, and radio music poured from the speakers.

I did not smell gas, thank God. I held the driver door open as a man who'd climbed up on top of the vehicle pulled the the four occupants out, one by one. I told the man on top to reach in and turn off the ignition and I turned off the headlights. Like I said, I didn't smell gas, but I didn't want to find out the hard way.

No one was badly injured. The driver had a cut on the bridge of his nose, and had blood in his mouth. I put on my latex gloves and wiped his blood off with gauze, then used alcohol to sterilize the cut that was visible. I wasn't sure what to do for the inside of his mouth. (He'd probably bitten down on his cheek or tongue when he impacted.) By that time, the fire department and the police showed up, and they took over. I was glad to have helped, and one officer even told me thanks for my help.

I don't really feel like I did anything major, but just having someone care for you in an incident like that probably was helpful in keeping him calm. I made him sit down while I cleaned him up.

Anyway, it's weird to think that my whole building ran out to help. Northridge hit Southern California at the same time of morning--I can only imagine what that must be like after an experience like this.

BTW, if you want to see the car being uprighted by the tow truck, click here.

Very Good Mortified Audition

2009-01-12T11:07:00.002-05:00

Hey everyone,

Just wanted to flash a quick update saying that my Mortified audition on Sunday went really well. They said that they want me to come back again so we can get more in depth into my materials and really uncover the story that they want. They really liked the entries where I discuss my rivalry with Peter W, a friend who I was insanely jealous of--so that might get used.

I am really excited. They want me to attend the February show--on the guest list, mind you, to see what they are all about. I'm really hoping I get to perform in one of the shows.

Anyway, it's time to head off to start the work-week. Best wishes to you all!

Mortified Audition

2009-01-09T11:56:00.009-05:00

This Sunday, I'll be heading down to Koreatown to audition (really more of an interview, though) for "Mortified".

Mortified is "a Comic Excavation of Adolescent Writing, Art & Media"

I'll be bringing my journals, videos, blogs, school papers and report cards down to the interview, and we'll spend 45 minutes talking, reading and sharing. If they see a story, if I'm what they're looking for, I could find myself performing my adolescent works before a live audience, or maybe even make it into their next book!

I'm really excited--this fall I had been reading my journals at Crimson Spot, the Baha'i Center's Sunday open mic night, and they were very very well received. People actually asked for more--that's always a good sign.

So we'll see how it goes, I'll be sure to let you know.

On a side note, I feel bad because I've been blogging more lately, and I've not been writing in my journal. There is never enough time in the day. Darn it.

New Things, New Year

2009-01-07T15:46:00.002-05:00

So I splurged and purchase and 120GB iPod Classic. Sue me.

My old iPod video had been dropped (one too many times, I'm sure) and it's screen had cracked. I ordered a new screen, but I think in doing my home repair I cracked the logic board--this is a 100 dollar part. So I said, eh, just go for it, get a nice new one.

So I used the money my grandma gave me for christmas to purchase my iPod Classic--which I love.

I'm writing this on my lunchbreak at work, which I've found to be valuable time for blogging, writing my my journal, and more.

The new year has begun, and though I put on a pound or two over the holidays, I'm back to the gym everyday after work. Burn, baby, burn!

The fact of the matter is that this year is going to be great. I can feel it--I'm working towards so many good things, and I think in the end, the payout will be great.

Anyway, just wanted to give you all a quick update from beautiful, sunny Southern California.

Merry Christmas to All!

2008-12-26T16:20:00.002-05:00

Hello Everyone!

Merry Christmas! It's been an amazing year, and I feel so blessed to have been able to be a part of all of this excitement, growth, and improvement.

The new year is right around the corner, and I've got some resolutions, which hopefully I will update you with in the coming days.

I got some great gifts for christmas, including a sweet steel-string Yamaha acoustic guitar, but the greatest gift was probably seeing the joy and excitement in my dad's eyes when he opened the package containing the DVD transfer of the footage from his 1972 high-school TV production class.

I've never seen someone have so much joy at a gift. He'd not seen that footage in 32 years, and it made it 100% worth the effort and time we put into it. The memories it brought back, watching him grin from ear to ear like the chesire cat for the entire duration of the footage was a truly awesome experience.

Last night we went and saw the Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which was really really excellent, in spite of having to sit in the very very front row, craning our necks skyward. The cinematography, acting, story, and production design were all top notch, and I found myself teary-eyed at more than one occasion. I'd highly recommend it.

Take care, and until next time, keep your stick on the ice.

Christmas is Coming... (And I'm Not Getting Fat)

2008-12-21T18:01:00.002-05:00

So far I've managed to keep it real and keep from over eating and getting too into the holiday spirit, (if you catch my drift!)

I have a lot of news that I probably should have been updating everyone about.

Firstly, I will be officially hired by my company in January! This means paid vacation and sick days, health insurance, direct deposit, and of course withholdings (no more estimated tax for me!) It's been a long time coming, but I obviously have made them very happy, and they want to lock me down! :)

Secondly, I received a Christmas bonus! 500 smack-a-roo's! In this troubled economic time, to receive that kind of fiscal reward for just doing one's job is an amazing thrill. I suppose it's because so many people don't do their jobs, so finding an employee who is diligent and hard working and smart like me, you wanna keep them happy. :)

Anyway, I've got all my Christmas shopping for my family done, though I've got to buy some presents for friends, but I have until New Years for them... :) Last night, I wrapped all the gifts, and put them all in a big box to have them ready to take to Utah Tuesday night. I'll be spending Christmas with Dad, David, Katie and Helen. Should be a good time, and it probably will be a white Christmas to boot!

This morning, Joe and I did our little christmas, since neither will be home to exchange gifts. He loved the 5.1 speaker system that Jon P. and I bought for him, and I liked the gifts Joe got for me, despite their inexpensive cost. Two puzzles featuring pretty New England scenes and a magazine/TP rack for the bathroom--nice. He's not got much extra money, so I am just pleased he got me anything. Jon P. got me a logitech webcam! So if you want to video chat, let me know, I'm now capable!

I was going to do laundry today, but I'm going to try and go without for the next two days and do Laundry at Dad's house for free! (I'm so cheap, I know) But it's part of the fun of going home for the holidays.

Anyway, hope everyone is well in their respective necks of the woods.

God bless us, everyone.

President McCain

2008-11-18T10:29:00.002-05:00

I had a dream last night that somehow they recalculated the votes and found that John McCain had become president. I could express to you how shocked I was.

Thankfully, I woke up to find it wasn't true.

But still...

Not that I have a problem with McCain, but can you imagine the level of incompetance required to have such a blunder within the election results?

Have a good day!

In Response (Part II)

2008-11-11T17:19:00.003-05:00

In the comments to the previous post (On Blogger, not Facebook) The author of the original note responded with her feelings.

Read that comment before pressing on: (I've also attached it to the bottom of this entry.)

I apologize for not knowing you are from Los Angeles. I figured you were in UT, and I should have checked.

I think you mis-understand what I meant by the church asking gays the same thing in regards to celibacy and marriage. What I mean by that is that the church will never recognize, nor be forced to recognize or solemnize gay marriages, and therefore there is no chance for companionship in this life for a gay mormon. I was not insinuating that if gay marriage were legal that the church would have to shine it’s blessing upon gay sex.

You also seem to get very hung up on the sexual aspect of homosexuality. I realize this is the “icky” part that everyone immediately thinks of, but living openly as a gay man doesn’t not mean having sex. It means not fighting yourself all the time, and not having to hide. You take for granted that you are straight. You agree with the church that homosexuals do not choose their feelings—so imagine you have to spend your whole life fighting them. Imagine if the prophet commanded you that your feelings towards your fiancé/husband or boyfriend were never to be acted upon, and in fact, you had to play out your life acting like a lesbian, could you do it? Wouldn’t it be incredibly hard and painful? Well reverse that, and that’s exactly how it feels to be gay and in the church. It hurts, and it’s not easy—especially when everyone around you is professing that how you feel inside, is an abomination to God.

“Gay people who tell the ward about their homosexual relationships are disciplined”. I never said gays who are in the church should be giving talks about their relationships—I’m talking about the members who are gay and DON’T act on their feelings. They TOO can be disciplined, even though they’ve broken no commandments, because Mormons are not yet ready to handle the idea that homosexuals can be and are worthy members of the church.

“I am interested in knowing what doctrines, council and scripture precede the doctrine we currently have on the issue.”

There is no doctrine that counter-acts the Mormon Church’s stance on Homosexuality—that is clear, and has never been in question. The scriptures that I’m referring to are

D & C 134:4 and 7
4 We believe that religion is instituted of God; and that men are amenable to him, and to him only, for the exercise of it, unless their religious opinions prompt them to infringe upon the rights and liberties of others; but we do not believe that human law has a right to interfere in prescribing rules of worship to bind the consciences of men, nor dictate forms for public or private devotion; that the civil magistrate should restrain crime, but never control conscience; should punish bguilt, but never suppress the freedom of the soul.

7 We believe that rulers, states, and governments have a right, and are bound to enact laws for the protection of all citizens in the free exercise of their religious belief; but we do not believe that they have a right in justice to deprive citizens of this privilege, or proscribe them in their opinions, so long as a regard and reverence are shown to the laws and such religious opinions do not justify sedition nor conspiracy.

And as stated previously, the 11th Article of Faith
11 We claim the aprivilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the bdictates of our own cconscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them dworship how, where, or what they may.

As well as these words, spoken from Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley:
“I plead with our people everywhere to live with respect and appreciation for those not of our faith. There is so great a need for civility and mutual respect among those of differing beliefs and philosophies. We must not be partisans of any doctrine of ethnic superiority. We live in a world of diversity. We can and must be respectful toward those with whose teachings we may not agree. We must be willing to defend the rights of others who may become the victims of bigotry.
(in Conference Report, Apr. 1995, 94–95; or Ensign, May 1995, 71).

That's why Utah is being called on its bluff--the church's official statement is that they are not against equal benefits and privileges to same-sex couples. So they've proposed 5 laws in Utah to help achieve the level of equality enjoyed in states like California. We'll see the true feelings of the church when these laws fail to be passed by the Utah legislature. Or maybe they'll surprise me--I can always hope.

No, no one was forced—but some were coerced, I know that when I said I would not assist in calling on a phone bank, that my faith was called into question. Even if I am mistaken, is it the Church’s policy to insult people’s faith when they are weak? Aren’t we supposed to uplift those who are weak and unsure? Set a positive example?

“You don’t know my gay friends” No, but I know my gay friends, and they are all ANGRY with the Mormon Church. If they are level-headed people, they may respect your unwavering belief, but they are angry and hurt, and they don’t feel the same way about you as they did before. If you don’t believe me, I challenge you to go to your gay friends, if they really exist, and ask them “How do you feel about my involvement in dismantling gay marriage in California?” I am 98% positive that the answer will equate to sadness at the least, and anger and betrayal at most.

“Couldn't I respect their desires while still upholding my beliefs?” Yes, you can respect their desires—but voting to take them away is not respect, its backhanded. You cannot look a homosexual in the eye and tell them you respect their desire to marry whom they love, and then turn around and vote to take away what they want. It doesn’t make sense.

“Our leaders have given us the church's point of view on this issue and I for one will heed the council of the Lord.” – I’d point out that the council of the prophets in the past has been that African Americans did not have the right to marry whites.—You’d have sustained that as well, I assume. Because I know I wouldn’t. I’m aware this is a part of its history the church wants to hide, but it can’t. The only semi-logical argument I’ve ever heard for this is that the Mormon membership was not ready to allow interracial marriage and African American’s to hold the priesthood—not God. If this is your best argument, then I’d like to state that the God I’ve come to know doesn’t withhold his blessings to his children because it makes others uncomfortable.

I’m going to assume that since there was no rebuttal on the points about tax exempt status and this country’s role as a protectorate of the minority from the tyranny of the majority, that you’ve agreed with me or at the very least have no non-secular argument. I realize that in the end, you think this is the right thing to do, based on your interpretation of the words of the Prophets and God. But remember, the church asks us to seek our truths and have them confirmed—if they really wanted you to just fall in line with everything that’s ever said, what is the point of having that doctrine? Why do we need to pray about the prophets council if we know he’ll always be right—what’s wrong with blind obedience then?

I appreciate the dialogue you’re giving me the opportunity to voice, and your civility in the matter.

---

The response from Joy, the author of the original post.

First of all all I said was that we no longer practice polygamy. I never said that have disowned our history of it. As a member of the church I know that if President Monson were to stand up at General Conference in April and tell us that the Lord had commanded we begin the practice of polygamy again, I would submit.
Second (this is kind of a side note) I am from the LA area of California so when I mention contention in our state I am referring to California. I stated the church didn't contribute money to the actual yes on prop 8 campaign which is true. They did pay some travel expenses. Now, we as members of the church, as I have previously stated, believe that there are people with homosexual feelings who do not choose to have them but the sin lies in acting upon them. Thus, when you say "just as we ask hetero men and women to remain celibate until marriage, we ask gays the same thing" you are mistaken. Because we believe that homosexual actions are sinful we do not believe that they should be married unless it is to someone of the opposite sex. We don't condone homosexual relationships at all, it is not a question of whether they are married. As a member of the church I would expect that you understand that there are varying degrees of sin; this accounts for the time difference in deferring missions. You're right, the church doesn't allow you to live openly as a gay person. Gay people who tell the ward about their homosexual relationships are disciplined. I believe that if someone was actively involved in fornication (heterosexual) and was shouting it on the roof tops that they would be punished similarly to those gay people who divulge their personal sins. If, however, a homosexual kept his or her sins private and simply spoke to the bishop about it, I believe similar punishments would be issued to them as are issued to those who fornicate and simply tell their bishops. And YES, if someone is a member and says that they are having homosexual relations they should have their temple recommends taken away because we don't believe they are worthy. It's not just sins of homosexual actions that cause the remand of temple recommends.
I am interested in knowing what doctrines, council and scripture precede the doctrine we currently have on the issue.
I would also like to know if you are aware that unless something comes from the mouth of THE PROPHET it cannot always be counted as entirely true. Apostles and general authorities are sometimes mistaken in their discourses. (Just in case your preceding evidence comes from people other than the prophets.)
I don't think that anyone was forced to give money to the campaign or felt threatened if they wouldn't. That's simply ridiculous. You said that members were asked to donate of their TIME and money. That means not just money...
And finally, Ezra, you don't know my gay friends and therefore cannot know what their level of respect for me is. Could it be that my gay friends respect the fact that I stand up for my religious beliefs and am unwavering? Couldn't I respect their desires while still upholding my beliefs?
Our leaders have given us the church's point of view on this issue and I for one will heed the council of the Lord.

In Response...

2008-11-11T14:43:00.003-05:00

I've posted the original post that I'm responding to, found on a friend-of-a-friend's notes, below my response if you'd like to read it first.

Here's my response:

1. Mormons no longer practice polygamy.
This is true, but the Mormon Church abandoned Polygamy only as a condition to gain statehood--not because they no longer felt in was God's will. Polygamous marriages will be recognized and blessed in heaven according to the church, so it's far from rejected or abandoned, doctrinally speaking. Secondly, if the church feels that non-traditional marriages are damaging, then why are they not more aggressive in their pursuit of polygamous sects in Hilldale and other areas in Utah?

2. Mormons hate gay people.
This is true, Mormons don't "hate" gays, but they certainly offer conflicting viewpoints and double standards regarding the issue. I've often heard the argument that "all sexual relations, gay or straight, outside the bonds of a marriage (Not temple marriage, mind you, as evidenced by my parents who married in a ward before going to the temple) is sinful." And the argument is that just as we ask hetero men and women to remain celibate until marriage, we ask gays the same thing. See, it’s the same thing!

Unfortunately, the double standards abound. If, for example, you are preparing to go on a mission and you have hetero-sex, it takes 1 year of waiting before you can be reconsidered for a mission. However, if you have homo-sex, the waiting period is 3 years. So please stop lying and saying that "it's all the same" because it's not. Apparently, gay premarital sex is three times more abominable to God than hetero premarital sex. Also, you might say, straight people might never marry too—but they at least have the hope that someday the right person might come along. Gay members have no reassurance. Only a vague promise of a reward in the next life.

I’d also like to add that the church doesn’t allow you to live openly as a gay man—you are disciplined if you are too open with people about it. If the church really believes that the feelings are not a sin, only the actions, then why aren’t people who are living the commandments, but are gay, treated equally? I know gay Mormons (do a blog search, there’s hundreds) who’ve been threatened to have their temple recommends removed for talking about their sexuality.

3. The LDS Church contributed money to the Yes on Prop 8 campaign.
The church actually did make an in-kind donation of 2,000 dollars for plane tickets to visit the coalition in CA, so you're statement that they donated nothing is false. You are correct, however, that it wasn't that the church just took tithing money and handed it over.

The problem is that the church used fear of excommunication and disfellowship to coerce many who might have opposed or been ambivalent about the issue into falling in line with the church. At least one member has been excommunicated for his actions speaking out against Prop 8.

I live in California, and you don't understand that literally every week they spoke from the pulpit saying it was a trial of our faith to donate time and money, and it was God's will. Problem is I and other members who prayed and received the opposite confirmation from the spirit where immediately questioned about their lack of faith. How is this not force? How is this donation voluntary if you are told that not doing it is equivalent to apostasy?

3. Yes, you are intolerant for banning Gay marriage, because you are ignoring the council and scripture that has preceded this new revelation. If the church said, officially "these doctrines are now rendered null and void" by our new doctrine, that might be one thing, but that's not the case. The revelations of past and present prophets conflict, so what does one choose to follow?

My stake president came and spoke for and ENTIRE SACRAMENT MEETING about how the church wasn't getting involved in "politics" it was getting involved in a "moral issue" and that's why we shouldn't feel guilty about repressing another groups beliefs.

Remember, "we claim the privilege of worshipping almighty God, according to the dictates of our own conscience and ALLOW ALL MEN THE SAME PRIVELAGE--LET THEM WORSHIP HOW, WHERE, OR WHAT THEY MAY".

If I founded a religion that performs and solemnizes gay marriages, you have no right, both by law and by scriptural doctrine to tell me that I cannot. You are not required to accept it, but the state is, because the state is prohibited from holding the beliefs of one religion over another.

4. The argument about infringing on religious freedom is a sad and tired one. Here's why:

First off, you and I know that the church teaches that unless married in the temple "for time and all eternity", the marriage ends at death, and is therefore not recognized by God. Yet we allow these non-eternal marriages to exist in spite of our 'knowledge'. The church wouldn't dream of banning a non-temple marriage, even though it's not a marriage that will be valid in heaven. It seems pretty clear that it's a double standard, once again--sounds pretty intolerant to me.

Secondly, it's utter nonsense that the church would lose its tax exempt status or its right to perform temple marriages if gay marriage were legal—gay marriage WAS legal in California for months, and has been legal in Boston for years, and none of these lawsuits or tax questions have come up. Only members in good standing have been permitted entrance to the temple since the church's inception. No non-Mormon couple has come to the church and demanded to be married there, that I know of. And even if they had, they'd be turned away. In over a hundred years of existence, the church has never been "forced" to marry anyone it didn't want to. It's fear-mongering poppycock, and any lawyer worth his salt knows it.

5. The contention in Utah has been there since long before 8, but it's being brought out because people are tired of being ruled by a religion they don't subscribe to. It's not just, and the reason that Mormonism was brought forth in America was because it was the only place where personal beliefs were protected from tyranny of the majority. Think about it, and you'll understand.

6. Your "gay friends" have lost a lot of respect for you and are very hurt. It may not affect their outward display of friendship and love towards you, but they are hurt, very deeply, I might add, that you would tell them they are not allowed to have the right to marry the person they please. The church provides no support system for those struggling with their feelings and their sexual identity, and I know it may surprise you, but there are many, many gay Mormons who are losing their faith over this--they've struggled to do what they thought God wanted for them, only to see their faith rewarded with misunderstanding and fear.

But that's probably a-ok with the church—gotta separate the wheat from the chaff and all that...

Thanks for providing an opportunity to explain the issue from another Mormon perspective.

---

Original post, found on a friend-of-a-friend's notes:

I know we've all had enough of the talk about Prop 8 but I would like to express MY beliefs and opinions on the topic as well as clear up some possible myths.

First of all I'd like to clarify just a couple of things:
1. Mormons no longer practice polygamy.
Polygamy is a part of our history; it occurred but does not any longer. If you are interested in more information regarding why it was practiced you can ask me or follow my nifty link :) Anyway, my reason for writing this in this note is that I've seen and heard a few people say things such as, "If Mormons can have 10 wives, why can't I have 1?" I believe that anyone who says something like this is uneducated about our faith.

2. Mormons hate gay people.
Mormons, like almost all other religious people, believe that homosexuality is a sin. We get this belief straight out of the Bible. So no, we do not hate gay people. We view their actions as sinful, just like we view lying and fornication as sinful; it has nothing to do with the fact that they are homosexual. Also it is commonly taught among our church that homosexuals do not choose to have homosexual feelings, instead we believe that they choose to act on their feelings.

3. The LDS Church contributed money to the Yes on Prop 8 campaign.
Many believe that the LDS church as an institution contributed directly to supporting Prop 8. False. The church leaders did encourage the members to vote yes and contribute, however, no money came from the church as an institution. Instead it came from members of the church who had been urged to donate; the individual people, not the LDS Church as a whole, helped to fund the campaign.

I'm sorry I don't have a link for this one but only about 2% of California is LDS. There are more gay people in California than there are Mormons. We weren't the only ones who voted yes.

So if we are tolerant and not hateful towards homosexuals why are we so opposed to legalizing gay marriage? It's because the legalization of gay marriage would infringe on our religious freedoms. We as LDS people believe in Temple marriage. We believe that all faithful members of our church who are married and sealed in an LDS temple will be with their families forever. Most marriage ceremonies end with "till death do you part" but ours end with "for time and all eternity." Marriage and family are very sacred to our church. We believe that marriage is essential to salvation. I was married in an LDS temple in Utah and the ceremony meant the world to me. If gay marriage had been legalized then by law our church would not be able to perform temple marriages and sealings because we do not support gay marriage. This is one of the biggest motivating factors for LDS support of Proposition 8. We would no longer be able to practice our religious beliefs if gay marriage was legalized.

It saddens me to see the contention in our state. I do not like watching a place where I go to worship being vandalized (although I will say that the vandalism that has occurred has been minimal in comparison to what it could have been).

I hope anyone reading this knows me well enough to know that I do not dislike gay people. I am a friend to some and do not look down upon them.

I am not trying to fuel an argument but merely state my position and hopefully bring light to those who do not understand my religious beliefs.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope anyone who comments will do so in an appropriate manner.

How the Grinch Stole Marriage

2008-11-05T10:50:00.001-05:00

The following is the only consolation I have on this bittersweet Nov. 5th morning.

Please forgive us, America. The cascading bans on gay marriage that will probably result from this blunder are going to take years to undo. Please forgive Mormons, for they know not what they do.

How the Grinch Stole Marriage

by Mary Ann Horton, Lisa and Bill Koontz (with apologies to Dr. Seuss.)

Every Gay down in Gayville liked Gay Marriage a lot......
But the Grinch, who lived just east of Gayville, did NOT!!

The Grinch hated happy Gays! The whole Marriage season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, his Florsheims were too tight.
But I think the most likely reason of all was
His heart and brain were two sizes too small.

"And they're buying their tuxes!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow's the first Gay Wedding! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop Gay Marriage from coming!"

For, tomorrow, he knew... All the Gay girls and boys
would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their vows!
And then! Oh, the Joys! Oh, the Joys!

And THEN they'd do something he liked least of all!
Every Gay down in Gayville the tall and the small,
would stand close together, all happy and blissing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Gays would start kissing!

"I MUST stop Gay Marriage from coming! ...But HOW?"

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know what to do!" The Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he went to his closet, grabbed his sheet and his hood.
And he chuckled, and clucked, with a great Grinchy word!
"With this beard and this cross, I look just like our Lord!"

"All I need is a Scripture..." The Grinch looked around.
But, true Scripture is scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch...? No! The Grinch simply said,
"With no Scripture on Marriage, I'll fake one instead!"
"It's one man and one woman," the Grinch falsely said.

Then he broke in the courthouse. A rather tight pinch.
But, if Georgie could do it, then so could the Grinch.
The little Gay benefits hung in a row.
"These bennies," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most uncanny,
around the whole room, and he took every benny!
Health care for partners! Doctors for kiddies!
Tax rights! Adoptions! Pensions and Wills!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, with a chill,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, in his bill.

Then he slunk to the kitchen, and stole Wedding Cake.
He cleaned out that icebox and made it look straight.
He took the Gay-bar keys! He took the Gay Flag.
Why, that Grinch even took their last Gay birdseed bag!

"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will pocket their Rings."
And the Grinch grabbed the Rings, and he started to shove
when he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and off flew his hood.
Little Lisa-Bi Gay behind him sadly stood.
The Grinch had been caught by small Lisa-Bi.
She stared at the Grinch and said, "My, oh, my, why?"
"Why are you taking our Wedding Rings? WHY?"

But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Shepherd sneered,
"The judges are evil, the other states weird."
"I'll fix the rings there and I'll bring them back here."

It was quarter past dawn... All the Gays, still a-bed,
all the Gays still a-snooze when he packed up and fled.
"Pooh-Pooh to the Gays!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming.
"They're finding out now no Gay Marriage is coming!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
then the Gays down in Gayville will all cry Boo-Hoo!"

He stared down at Gayville! The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Gay down in Gayville, the tall and the small,
was kissing! Without any bennies at all!
He HADN'T stopped Marriage from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
"It came without lawyers, no papers to sort!"
"It came without licenses, came without courts!"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!

"Maybe Marriage," he thought, "doesn't come from the court.
Maybe Marriage...perhaps... comes right from the heart.
Maybe Marriage comes from all the words the Gays say.
Words like Husband, like Wedding, and Spouse who is Gay."
And what happened then...? Well...in Gayville they say
that the Grinch's small brain grew three sizes that day!

And the Gays had their Weddings. They promised for life.
They swore to be faithful, to Wife and her Wife.
The Husbands were happy, to each other they vowed
To be Out and be Honest, be Gay and be Proud.
They told all their neighbors and friends of their Spouse,
They told of their Marriage and sharing their house.
They said "We got Married." They shouted it loud.
Their marital status was "Married and Proud."

And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light.
And he brought back the rings, cake and Gay birdseed bags!
And he... ...HE HIMSELF... hung the Gay Rainbow Flag!
...
The Lord looked down, at the proud and the tall,
and said "These are my children, and I love them all."

------

The moral of this story is that we don't need a piece of paper and the approval of the state to get married. We can just get married. Instead of having a commitment ceremony, we can have a wedding. Instead of partners, we can have husbands and wives. Instead of calling our relationship a Domestic Partnership or a Civil Union, we can call it a Marriage. Whether any government recognizes it is separate from what we call it. It's a free country and we can call ourselves what we like.

In 5 or 10 or 20 years, with plenty of visible same-sex married couples, the world won't see us as strange or scary, we're just the married couple down the street that happens to be gay. Eventually, the legal recognition of our marriages will follow.

If we allow ourselves to voluntarily sit in the back of the bus, we'll never make any progress. Rosa Parks had to sit in the front of the bus to make a difference. We must as well.

Copyright (c) 2004 by Mary Ann Horton. Permission granted to copy in whole, with attribution. This is a parody of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas."

----

Election '08 - What it means to me.

2008-10-30T12:20:00.002-04:00

I'm going to be the first to admit that I've not been very good at following all the election hooplah this time around. Perhaps it is because I've been working at self improvement mostly, and of course, holding down my job.

But last night I watched Obama's 30 minute prime-time special, and what I've been considering for some time now has been solidified--Barack Obama is the right choice for America.

Long time readers of my blog will know I have a penchant for voting third party, as I classify myself as a Libertarian. Hopefully I won't alienate my fellow third party voters by announcing that I will be voting for Senator Obama.

"But Ezra, you've always championed Liberty, the free market, all your rights all the time, etc.! Why would you turn your back on that?"

This short answer is that I've lost a bit of my idealism.

The longer answer is very long indeed, so if you'll bear with me, I'll explain.

Obama's policies are often called Socialist, and I'm against socialism, because it's charity by force. However, you need to also remember that we currently live in a country that is closer to Facism and Statism than a true Republic. And here's the rub, since the only candidates that would work to restoring the republican government (meaning "of a republic", not the GOP) are Ron Paul (not running) and Bob Barr (Libertarian), and neither has a snowball's chance in hell of winning, I've decided to try and at least move towards my least offensive option--Obama. By definition, yes, some of his policies are Socialistic. But given the current state of affairs, (a choice between Facism and Socialism) I think I'll take the latter.

Secondly, who are we kidding? Our government is spending billions supporting corporate america, big business and wall street. If we're going to help anyone, we should be helping restore our middle class--the class that built this country and made it great.

Party definitions have changed over the years. Abraham Lincoln was a Republican--but by today's pundits, he'd be called a statist or facist--he disagreed with states rights. (Remember, that's what the civil war was really about?) He suspended Habeas Corpus during the war. He obviously wasn't concerned about the constitution.

To clarify, I like John McCain. I think he's a great American who has a genuine love for his country and a desire to serve. As you recall, he and Feingold are responsible for much of the campaign finance reform in our country. He's got what he thinks is best for America at his heart. And I respect him for that.

I'd be okay with McCain as president if he'd chosen ANYONE else for VP. But Sarah Palin is downright frightening. "But the media is picking on her!" Yes, because it's so easy! Joe Biden doesn't come accross as a total bimbo in his interviews. John McCain could die in office, he is pretty old and has some pre-exisiting health considerations. And I'm totally unwilling to accept her as president. And it has NOTHING to do with her being a woman. He could have chosen Republican Senior Senator from Maine, Olympia Snowe, who was named one of America's top ten senators by Time Magazine in 2006! She's been lauded with praise, is very smart, and Congressional Quarterly noted that her presence at the negotiating table in the 107th Congress was "nearly a necessity." (See wikipedia entry on "Olympia Snowe" for more information)

Basically Palin was a bonehead move, and he could totally have taken this election with someone else, like Snowe. But my guess is he wanted to choose someone he could manipulate and tell what to do, who didn't have any real opinions of her own. (See Katie Couric interview where she's asked about Supreme Court decisions she's disagreed with.)

Obama is positive, inspiring, and fresh. The whole world is watching our nation, (as American elections are often treated as a spectator sport by other nations, including betting and wagering!) and screaming "America, don't be foolish, elect OBAMA!". They too, are tired of our Imperialistic tendencies, and want change. These countries whose relationships we've damaged by our involvement in Iraq will be willing to come back to America's side with Obama. Most likely, they will not under a McCain White House.

There's a myriad of smaller reasons to support Obama, his decreasing taxes for the poor and middle class, increasing taxes for those that for years have raided the treasury with tax breaks and incentives for moving their businesses overseas and laying off workers; his commitment to energy independence, while still being willing to increase production domestically to meet our needs; his commitment to rebuild the middle class; and his ability to listen to the American People. Won't that be nice? Have a government of the people, by the people again?

I realize you can and should argue my points. I know there are flaws--he may not come through with his promises! You might say. Well, same is true for any politician. We have only their word and their voting record with which to judge. "Obama doesn't have the experience" you might say. Well, true, he doesn't have the experience of being president. But neither does McCain. So he'll not have experience being influenced by special interests! You know as well as I do that the president's cabinet and advisors are as important if not more important than the man himself. He's going to appoint VERY smart people. For crying out loud, he has a personal endorsement from the CEO of GOOGLE, one of the finest companies in America! Trust me, he'll be able to get the answers if he doesn't have them.

Also, not having experience means you don't have predetermined conclusions about how things "should be", and you are open to creating new methods, ways of attack, and overall creative solutions to our problems.

Obama is certainly not our Savior. He's just a man. But given our options, to me, at least, he's clearly the best man for the job.

Moving on from Obama, I just want to quickly state the following about Prop 8, the measure to eliminate the right of same sex couples to marry.

VOTE NO.

It's that simple. It's removing rights. The majority HAS NO AUTHORITY to remove anyone's rights. That's mob rule, and it's appalling and unbecoming of a Republic (We are NOT a DEMOCRACY. My rights trump your majority vote every time, remember?) This law legislates intolerance. Tolerance doesn't mean approval, it means allowing things you don't like to co-exist. Tolerant white folks, for example, don't actively fight to eliminate interracial marriages through law, even if they do think it's wrong, because they know they have no authority to deny that right, and this is no different. When it comes to US Law, there should be no such provisions on freedom.

Anyway, please write me if you'd like to talk, I'm open to discussion. Please vote, and vote not from a position of fear or hatred or any other emotion except love for country, and what you think is really best for her. Thank you.

Truths and Journal Entries

2008-10-20T11:48:00.002-04:00

1. Two paper towels are ALWAYS enough to get your hands completely dry, but the trick is to take ONE, dry your hands, then throw it away, and take a second dry towel and dry again.

2. Mondays will always suck.

3. I'm about 2/5th through typing up all my journal entries. And it's been an interesting ride so far.

In regards to #3, I wish I could travel back in time and talk to my 14 year old self and say:

"Hey, calm down, everything is going to be alright. You spend so much time and energy fighting with yourself about your imperfections and mistakes, that you completely fail to notice the amazing things you are achieving. Spend that energy serving others instead of verbally and physically abusing yourself for every mistake."

Here's a tame example of what I'm talking about, from a May 1st, 2001 entry:

"In [Honors] English I found out that I got an 88 on my “Big Trouble” Literary Analysis. I could have found out on Friday, but I was having a bad day and I didn’t want to cry because of the bad grade I knew I got. "

Bad grade? That's a solid "B"! I want to go back and talk some sense into myself. I was constantly comparing myself the another student I was friends with, who was constantly getting better grades/perfect 100's on coursework. I ask myself now, "Who cares?" I went to film school, I'm going to be an editor, I don't need to be able to write the most perfect academic paper ever.

Mind you, during this time I was writing my script for my 30 minute community access TV show, I was helping out roto-tilling our garden and maintaining our home, doing a 2 hour radio show on a COLLEGE radio station, WRBC, Radio Bates College; attending church, boy scouts, and still having a social life with my friends. What did I expect of myself?

Anyway, I hope that I've learned that while striving for perfection is a worthwhile endeavor, beating yourself up for not achieving it is a ridiculous exercise.

Hot Hot Heat

2008-10-01T11:03:00.002-04:00

I'm a damn fool.

I was warned not to remove my window A/C Unit from my room last week. But it was so cool, it felt like fall in New England, the leaves are starting to come down and there was a cool nip in the air.

Now I've been knocked back to reality by the high 90's weather we've been experiencing this week. I'm toughing it out though--I didn't use my A/C much this summer anyway, because I'd just sit in front of the fan. It's like the 3 summers I lived with Tanner in his miserably hot bedroom in the building on Lisbon Street. I survived then, I can surely handle this.

It's weird because I've gotten used to the progression of going to sleep on top of the covers with thee fan blowing over me on high, then waking up and getting under the covers, then waking up again and shutting the fan off, as the tempurature of the room drops throughout the night.

Whatever.

In other news, my dreams are getting strange, I'm feeling lonely, and I'm not being as good about what I eat, which has caused me to bounce back up to 271.5, from my recent low of 269. I guess it's to be expected when you eat lots of almonds, pumpkin pie, cookies, etc. It's just that lately I've felt hungry a lot... I need to be more diligent about walking with Joe every night. It takes time, but it's the only way to really get this weight off.

Anyway, just an update to say "Wassup".

New Week, Cold Morning, and Whatnot

2008-09-22T10:31:00.003-04:00

I awoke this morning to a pretty cold room. The whole environment felt like a fall morning in New England. The sky was gray and soft, and my room was cold! The previous day, I'd removed the window A/C unit from my bedroom, allowing me to have the windows on both sides of my room open. This generates a splendid cross-breeze. However, as temperatures dipped as low as 59 degrees, I found myself snuggled tight under the blanket, struggling to get out of bed to shut the windows at 6am. I shut them turned on my lamp and computer, in an attempt to generate some heat--it felt cold!

I guess California has just made me soft.

I feel like it's going to be a rough week, but I'm going to hope for the best.

Cleaned the apartment yesterday, finally got all my boxes and junk off of the living room and dining room floor and onto shelves and into closets. I didn't get around to cleaning the bathroom, so I'll do that when I get home from work.

Yes, my life is so exciting that I'm telling you about my cleaning schedule.

Frankly, there is more going on in my life than that, but due to the nature of this medium, I'm not going to talk about it.

Anyway, I should go get breakfast. Apple Cinnamon Cheerio's here I come!

PS. My roommate Joe and I are walking 3-6 miles a night in a sustained effort to lose weight. Since we committed to this, we've been four for four! Last night we walked about 4.6 miles (almost all the way to Menchies on Laurel Canyon Blvd) and back. Cool huh?

YES! It's working!

2008-09-19T13:50:00.002-04:00

I just wanted to share the wonderful news that I just broke 270--I'm 269 pounds now! Only a short time ago, I was at an all-time high of 283 pounds! I've already lost 14, and I'm going to continue eating less, and eating healthier, cutting out soda, exercising more, and generally healing myself emotionally so I can continue to drop pounds. My goal is to reach 240 (which was last known to be my weight almost 8 years ago, in April of 2001) by Christmas time, and to be under 200 by the end of 2009.

Keep you all posted as that unfolds.

Dream About Making A Film

2008-09-03T10:13:00.002-04:00

Just a quick note... last night I had a dream that I was directing a film and my crew was lots of old friends, many who'd worked with me on "Maze" last fall. Alex Paul, David Yeomans, and Pat Scola are the ones who I distinctly remember communicating with in the dream.

We were shooting in this old run-down house, and Alex had leaned a 2X4 up against a garage outside the kitchen window. He proceeded to walk up it and balance one foot on the gutter and the other on the 2X4 while rigging something.

I remarked (quite seriously) that "next time I do a film we'll have a ladder and everyone will be forced to use it".

Pat Scola and Alex both started to argue with me about how they didn't care and they could do it without one, and that they wouldn't like being forced to do anything. Sometimes you're in a hurry and you just hop up an do what needs to be done, even if it's not the safest way.

BAsically this lead to a discussion about liability issues--I explained that if I had to call Mrs. Paul and say "You're son has died" she's going to ask "How did he die?" and then I'd have to explain that he was climbing a 2X4 to rig a light because I didn't provide proper equipment.

Anyway, I miss you guys a lot, making films with you. Hope all is well, and you're dreams are coming true.

John's Here, It's Been Swell

2008-08-31T11:35:00.002-04:00

John's been here since Friday afternoon, and we have been having a grand old time. We've walked the Walk of Fame, visited Grauman's Chinese theater, ate hotdogs at the world famous "Pinks", gone to Malibu and swam in the ocean, swam in my pool, cruised, hit up Menchies for awesome fro-yo, watched "Brazil", ate at In-N-Out, and went to the Getty center.

All in all, pretty awesome so far. Hopefully it will get even awesome--er. Haha.

One More Thing...

2008-08-28T12:05:00.002-04:00

I also dreamed that I was in church, and we had an earthquake, and I fell to the floor. I was afraid of getting trampled by those leaving the building, so I got up and got out of the building, where I collapsed into the grass, and waited for the shaking to stop.

I've been noticing a general slowdown in Seismic activity in the Southern California area--which means that either all the pressure has been released, or that the faults are "caught"--and the pressure is building!

Or maybe it's just a metaphorical representation of my belief structure being massively shaken...

My Morning Wake Up Call

2008-08-28T10:33:00.003-04:00

I have a very special wake up call here at my apartment. At 7am each morning, I'm awoken by three unique sounds, all within 60 seconds of each other.

These sounds are:

1. A jetliner taking off from Burbank airport

2. My clock-radio kicking on KRTH 101, with DJ's doing the station break

3. My G5 automatically turning on, which makes the fans spin up like a wind turbine while it initially boots.

The great thing about this is that it is such a unique combination of sounds that if they don't all happen very close together, I know something isn't right, and I can continue to sleep... ;) Not that that's ever happened.

A humerous thing happened this morning though, because when the radio kicked on, DJ Gary Bryan said it was time for "Tuesday Trivia" or something like that. For a moment I wondered--am I in a time warp? Last night it was Wednesday, and now it's Tuesday? The days are going backwards! Is Stupendous Man responsible for this? Did Calvin have an assignment due on Thursday?

After a song, Gary came back on and without mentioning his previous mistake (a good radio personality should always ignore his mistakes--listeners will generally assume they mis-heard.) said that it was "Thursday Trivia".

Not that great of a story, I realize.

On to something a little more serious.

The old man who I home teach has passed on. When we last visited him, he was doing really poorly, and I had a feeling he had not much time left. He was rail thin, his lip and jaw had gotten so bad he could not talk. I had brought the message--a message about Death, and how for some it is an enemy, but for those who are suffering, it can be a liberator, bringing them home to their father. I told him that I admire him for his efforts to endure to the end, and his courage.

I could see something in his eyes--I could almost tell then and there that this message was especially for him, because he knew it too.

He's whole now, and that's very comforting.

Anyway, I've got to go make my breakfast and pack my lunch. Take care, everyone.

You're Sad and You're Sorry, But You're Not Ashamed

2008-08-14T11:07:00.003-04:00

Lots and lots of food for thought lately. I'm Journaling about 2 pages a day on average, trying to understand my thought processes and learn what it is I really want during this time on earth.

Naturally, I'm writing more in my journal because it's far more personal, and unlike this weblog, I feel completely free in writing whats on my mind.

It's tough to write an entry for public consumption sometimes, because you never know who's going to be reading it, and people don't know your whole backstory. In a journal, you are the reader and the writer, you don't always have to explain the back story, the motivations, the minutia of the tale.

What's the point of this entry?

Not sure, really, but I felt like giving you something a little bit more after yesterday's two goofy short posts.

John N. is going to come out to California on Labor Day weekend! I'm so excited to see him! It's been since Christmas, and he really is a dear friend. We'll have a grand old time.

In a few days, another dear friend will be leaving for 2 weeks, and that'll be sad.

Anyway, I'll have to jet--the morning commute awaits.

Okay, so, let me explain

2008-08-13T15:45:00.002-04:00

The previous post is a direct result of what happens when you leave your Blogger page open at your workstation, and one of your co-workers decides to have a little fun.

Glad we all had a jolly good laugh.

Ezra

Blogging May Have Fallen Out Of Favor

2008-08-13T14:51:00.002-04:00

Hey There Friends!

I was just sitting on the toilet thinking about you and Martha Stewart. She's so great. I like her bathrugs.

Sometimes I like to poop in the yard.

Love,
Ezzy

Blast from the Past!

2008-08-08T11:15:00.003-04:00

Last night I received this e-mail:

Ezra,

I'm guessing that this is your e-mail. A friend of mine linked me to your 9/11 film on you tube. I'm aka Buck, from Humdaisy, or what was once Humdaisy. I remember you wrote us to use the song "A Little Strange..." and I don't think that I ever spoke to you. It's fine that you used the song, and I'm/we're honored. In the "file it under small world" bin, my dad was actually in the North Tower (thankfully, he was, and continues to be, fine) when 9/11 went down. I just have to ask how you came across the CD/song. We were once poised to take a chance on the music biz, on a larger scale, but life gets in the way. Anyhow, just felt compelled to try and track you down.

Buck/Scott

Amazing huh? I wrote to them almost 7 years ago asking for permission to use the song, and one of the band members finally contacts me! What I love most about it, is that it's totally the type of thing I have done. Last summer, I tracked down this guy I had met at a conference in Anaheim during 2004--about 3 years after the fact, and I ended up talking on the phone with him for about an hour!

For those who don't remember, this is the video to which we are referring:

C.S. Lewis: The Screwtape Letters

2008-07-28T10:57:00.005-04:00

After a recommendation from my home teaching companion--and him lending me the book, I read C.S. Lewis' "The Screwtape Letters". They are a series of missives from a 'loving' Uncle Screwtape, (a senior Devil) to his "junior temptor" nephew, Wormwood--a newly graduated Devil.

This book is a delightful and eye opening perspective on Satan's methods. Lewis shows how the Devil can use almost anything to get us back into the hands of "Our Father Below".

While all the letters are excellent, the part that I wanted to share with you actually comes from an appended essay called "Screwtape Proposes A Toast"

"In that promising land [In this story he is referring to England, but I feel it's applicable to most countries these days, especially the USA] the spirit of I’m as good as you has already begun something more than a generally social influence. It begins to work itself into their educational system. How far its operations there have gone at the present moment, I should not like to say with certainty. Nor does it matter. Once you have grasped the tendency, you can easily predict its future developments; especially as we ourselves will play our part in the developing. The basic principle of the new education is to be that dunces and idlers must not be made to feel inferior to intelligent and industrious pupils. That would be “undemocratic.” These differences between pupils – for they are obviously and nakedly individual differences – must be disguised. This can be done at various levels. At universities, examinations must be framed so that nearly all the students get good marks. Entrance examinations must be framed so that all, or nearly all, citizens can go to universities, whether they have any power (or wish) to profit by higher education or not. At schools, the children who are too stupid or lazy to learn languages and mathematics and elementary science can be set to doing things that children used to do in their spare time. Let, them, for example, make mud pies and call it modelling. But all the time there must be no faintest hint that they are inferior to the children who are at work. Whatever nonsense they are engaged in must have – I believe the English already use the phrase – “parity of esteem.” An even more drastic scheme is not possible. Children who are fit to proceed to a higher class may be artificially kept back, because the others would get a trauma -- Beelzebub, what a useful word! – by being left behind. The bright pupil thus remains democratically fettered to his own age group throughout his school career, and a boy who would be capable of tackling Aeschylus or Dante sits listening to his coeval’s attempts to spell out A CAT SAT ON A MAT."

When I read that I was amazed--Lewis was writing this in 1959--what you and I might consider a Golden Age of public education in the United States--we had the highest scores across the board world-wide. Lewis hit this nail on the head, and if he were alive today, he'd probably be in complete shock.

Just some food for thought.

Another Night Ride

2008-07-15T02:44:00.005-04:00

I had to ride again, and my fanny is feeling it.

I rode 11 miles tonight, and if my butt wasn't so sore, I'd have been able to go longer.

You can view my path here.

It doesn't look like it's as far, but that's because I went to the end of the bike path and back to the corner of Cahuenga and Chandler before turning around and going back, and this time going further, to buy a bottle of water.

Like I said before--awesome, but my rump roast is totally toast.

The Chandler Bike Path is AMAZING

2008-07-14T03:08:00.002-04:00

I am ready for bed tonight, but I just wanted to share that I have biked about 15 miles today, and I feel amazing. I biked to and from church, and then all the way to northern Burbank to visit Seth. Riding back along the path at 10pm was quite possibly the most invigorating and simultaneously peaceful things I've experienced in a long time.

And I always need more peace in my life.

Missing Beauty

2008-06-29T17:33:00.006-04:00

This morning I got up, finally committed to grab my video camera and get some morning shots around my apartment complex. I showered and dressed more quickly than usual, hoping to provide myself with extra time to shoot.

As I grabbed a drink, I looked out the kitchen window to the fence below, where each morning I had been greeted with a wall of vibrant morning glories.

They were gone.

I don't know when it happened, but they were totally absent, only a few dead strands of vine were left clinging to the trellis.

My enthusiasm was dead, my heart sank. Who would take something so beautiful and destroy it? It was perfect the way it was, or at the very least, not in anyone's way.

-----

After driving up to Utah last-minute on Sunday, I spent a late night, driving to get home for church Sunday morning. I was excited, ready to feel the spirit come into my heart, and lift me, sustain me, for one more week. I wanted to sing the hymns, to fellowship with some friends I've made, and to feel closer to Him.

When I arrived, I was greeted with a letter from the Prophet and his councilors, that in effect commanded California LDS to vote to support the Constitutional amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman. It was, in fact, a call to arms.

My spirit was gone.

I had always thought the church was better than that. If fact, the week before I'd commented to someone that "The Mormon Church is different, we don't have a political agenda ... the church doesn't tell us how to vote, they tell us to pray and make a decision based on what the spirit tells us is best for the country and church--we believe in agency."

To me, the issue is one of law. First, we must understand that marriage is an institution created by religion (or God, depending on your perspective.) Not an invention of the state. It was only in the last century that the state began requiring "Marriage Licenses"--prior to the US Civil war, NO ONE had a marriage license. The marriage license was invented after the civil war so that the states could try and prevent and regulate interracial marriage

Even if marriage is not defined by the state, what does it matter to the church? No one will be forced to perform a same-sex ceremony. That would be a clear violation of Congress's prohibition to "...make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof".

My testimony was severely damaged that day. Not my testimony of God's love, or even of the Scriptures, but my faith in the divine guidance of the church and it's leaders. But it shouldn't be--I should have known this would happen, if I'd done my research. I called and spoke to my father about it, and he said the church has issued call-to-arms type letters on many issues in the past--including fighting against equal rights provisions that would make men and women equal under the law.

Sometimes I wish I could create an eloquent ending to this post, but I'm left dumb. I don't know what to say. I realize that the parallel of the flowers is a bit weak, but I felt that it would help you understand a 1/100th of what I'm feeling right now.

I have to get to work. God, please forgive me.

A little bit annoyed... (Previously known as WHAT THE F#CK?!?)

2008-06-13T17:13:00.002-04:00

So THE FIRST DAY I arrived in Los Angeles (May 22nd) I looked at an apartment at 5301 Cahuenga Blvd. I loved it, the price was right, and I put in my application. Well here I am TWENTY ONE DAYS LATER, and I'm still not able to move in. Despite the fact that I initiated my application on Tuesday, May 27th.

The latest debacle comes from the fact that since Dad co-signed my lease, he had to sign before I would be able to take possession of the keys. Well, they didn't fax him the application on Wednesday until after the UPS pickup for the day, so he overnighted it on Thursday. However, it was placed in a "ground" envelope with overnight stickers all over it. So it's not scheduled to arrive until monday.

In other words, they probably won't give us the keys today, which means that we'll have to be at Danny's all weekend, AGAIN, unable to move in--

What I don't understand is this: Is God telling me that this apartment is WRONG for me, and that's why he's trying to get me slowed down and frustrated so that I move somewhere else?

Or is God trying to test my diligence and faith that it'll all work out before allowing me to get into the unit?

I'm praying it's the latter.

I'm going to call the California Real Estate Service and ask them if they will let us take the keys anyway--because if not, they have to deduct the days of rent we are paying when we don't have possession of the unit.

Pray that they will be trusting and understanding and just give me the friggin' keys..

Is This Really Happening?

2008-05-27T17:25:00.000-04:00

I'm back in The City Of Angels...Los Angeles--and I'm not sure how I feel. On the one hand, I'm nervous because I am doing two weeks of Freelance with Wiser Post that might turn into a full time position--but on the other hand, I'm not sure yet if I want to work for them. I used to edit a lot and lately it's been somewhat on the back-burner. If my goal really truly is to edit feature films, then what is the path I should take? If only I knew...

I'm also nervous about this apartment for which I'm applying. Since I cannot provide proof of income (being essentially jobless), I've needed to get my Dad to co-sign the loan. I'm nervous because he was bankrupt years ago, and I'm not sure he'll qualify with enough income to support the apartment. Plus, I'm not sure what my roommate Joe's credit is like. He did buy a used car recently and got it financed--and since then he's never missed a payment, so I imagine it must be fairly decent. Either way, I want my own place ASAP--I'm tired of staying on Danny Zack's couch, nice as it is to hang out with him.

Plus, you should see this apartment. For the price, it is AMAZING. I love it so much, I felt really good energy off of it when visiting, whereas every alternate apartment I've viewed has left me feeling dissapointed. This place is bright, clean and airy--the complex and grounds are very nice, and it just feels like a real home.

Tonight I'm going to home, and Joe will be there--he's finally arrived in Los Angeles. It should be good to see him. See you all tomorrow!

Peace In A Sea Of Depravity: An Abridged Journal Entry

2008-04-04T18:22:00.005-04:00

I felt it might be appropriate to share with you a recent abridged and in some places paraphrased journal entry of mine.

3/30/08
Dear Journal,

I am currently sitting next to a Sept 11th Memorial on Cahuenga Peak. It is a most amazing spot and my soul sings to be here. I'm looking out over Hollywood Resevoir and Los Angeles, with Burbank and the San Fernando Valley behind me.

Today was fast and testimony meeting at church. I bore my testimony of God's love and how he has changed my life. Sometimes I want to scream to everyone about my struggles, but that won't fix them.

Father, I really know and feel your love. Please guide me in what I must do to become what you have in mind for me. Help me enhance my spiritual and physical and creative goals. Help me to fight daily temptations. Help me understand the meanings and purposes of my relationships with others.

The weather here has been beautiful and I am so grateful to be here living my dream. You know I've filled half this journal in nine months, though I've owned this journal for SEVEN YEARS? I am excited to finish it and begin a new book--I pray that the new book will be full of joyous reflection and gratitude instead of pain, sorrow and regret.

I'm thankful for: tall mountains, level plains, my voice, my mind, my head, hands and feet. The gospel of Jesus Christ and the joy that I feel when I am in church. I'm thankful for Bishop O'Laughlin--a man who probably saved my life, and most definitely my soul. I'm thankful for my trials because they shape me into the man I know I will be.

At this moment, I feel at peace. My mind is clear, my heart is full, and the air is clear and cool.

I can't ask for much more.

--

What do you think of that? Don't you wish you could feel that--in a sea of civilization, the great city of angels, a sea of buildings, pollution and depravity--that you could feel peace?

Hope I struggle to hold on to that feeling as I move through the week. If I could feel like that every minute, I know my life would be so different. But I am mortal and weak.

I have changed so much in the last year that I hardly recognize myself sometimes. There is always room to grow, to change, and to decide what you want to be. My attitude is better, and I am making plans to change my disempowering beliefs, my addictions and weeknesses.

Isn't life awesome?

The Price Is Right!

2008-03-25T03:13:00.002-04:00

I'm just going to come right out and say it:

I was a contestant on the Price is Right today! The show will air on April 18th, 2008 at 10am in Los Angeles on CBS!

I did not get on the showcase showdown, but I did win a 6-night stay in a lodge at Yosemite National Park with air-fare and car rental included! I $3,500 dollar value!!!

Basically, it's the most amazing experience to be on the show--I shook Drew Carey's hand!

LA Update

2008-01-25T14:12:00.000-05:00

I've now been in Los Angeles for about three weeks, and let me tell you, it has been quite a ride so far. I don't even really know where or how to begin.

I moved into my Oakwood Apartment on the 15th of December, spending the first few days outfitting the kitchen with food and supplies, while running around LA interviewing for internships. The Oakwood apartments are nice, but it is sometimes frustrating because everything the Oakwoods says seems to be a lie (I'm not sure that it's malicious... maybe just ignorance) and that we are basically paying 5,000 dollars a month to live in an apartment that couldn't possibly be more than 2,500 a month. Emerson College, just what are you skimming off the top? Your LA program is probably a cash cow for you.

Anyway, I'm really enjoying being out here, though I obviously miss all my friends in Maine, Virginia, Boston, etc. When I got here, I was able to get a little bit of assistant editing work from Incited Media. Aaron Galles, the Senior Producer of Speechless from my Freshman year at Emerson College works there and paid me to digitize a bunch of footage. It might be a re-ocurring opportunity as well, which is great.

I decided to go with the internship at Partizan Entertainment, which has been fun, but very slow so far. Since they are a production company, and there isn't very much production happening right now, I can't seem to occupy myself all day. Which is partially why I am writing this blog post right now.

Being three hours behind everyone back east is really weird too. It's after 9pm on the east coast, so I can't even call people when I get out of work. At the same time, though, I've been so busy that I haven't really had much time these last few weeks. I've been trying to get settled into a healthy routine so I can start working on my own projects and making sure everything runs smoothly.

What else? I've started to get to know Burbank and West Hollywood pretty well, but I don't drive the freeways much since my internship is so close. I've reconnected with Seth Donald, my couch-surfing friend from this summer, which was totally cool. I've also talked on the phone with Mike Jittlov, creator of the Wizard of Speed and Time, on the phone, and I'll soon meet him in person!

My home ward in studio city is really awesome, I feel very comfortable there, and welcome. I've also met a comedic film editor who goes to the ward, and I've getting to know him! It's very exciting since he's basically doing what I want to be doing.

Its really amazing to think I am almost done with college and entering the real world. SCARY, actually. Pretty soon I've truly be in the rat race, paying off bills, schmoozing and trying to make my way. I pray that the AMPTP and the WGA can come to an agreement. Then it might not be so slim in this town.

Anyway, I love you all and miss you so much. Take care and send me all your love and positive energy so I can rock this town!

A Quick Note...

2007-12-08T17:47:00.000-05:00

People have often talked about "The Changing Face of Emerson College" --regarding the 'new' type of student that Emerson accepts.

I always used to say it was poppy-cock, but today I realized it must be true--because in previous years there would be many windows decorated with Christmas lights, but tonight I only counted FOUR ROOMS with visible Christmas lights (including my room), in a building with almost 750 students.

Emerson students are creative, fun people, but I guess the new Emerson students don't have time to be festive. Oh well.

Christmas Is Coming, The Goose Is Getting Fat!

2007-11-30T16:26:00.000-05:00

For those who are interested, please check out my Christmas Wishlist. Whoopee!

I'm Up Earlier Than I Thought!

2007-11-26T10:22:00.000-05:00

So I went to bed at about 3am, and set my alarm for 11am, but for some reason I woke up at 8:30am, and couldn't really fall asleep.

So I woke up, read a chapter in the Book Of Mormon, went and took a shower, checked my e-mail and social networking sites, sent out a few e-mails, and started realizing that I have a very light schedule, which has made me somewhat lazy.

Now I feel compelled to use a little bit of this time to write a blog entry about what I'm thinking and feeling these days.

I went to Maine for Thanksgiving break, and it might be the last time I'm physically in that state for quite some time. Hanging out with my sister was awesome, as was spending all day Saturday with my friend Tanner playing Guitar Hero and DoubleDash was a blast. But it was soured by that nagging thought that I am leaving it all behind for a place I'm not even sure if I'll like.

There is a part of me that is incredibly excited to go to Los Angeles and make my way in the industry. However, there is another part of me that is already longing to return to the Northeast. I can't really explain it. Perhaps it's because I spent all of my formidable years on the east coast/New England, that I have grown to be a part of the landscape.

Some people believe that the earth's magnetism or inherent energy causes a person to develop a sub-conscious energetic connection to the place where they were born/grew up. Sometimes I think that must be true, because it seems illogical for people to have these kinds of connections to places that are not that special other than that they are where the person lived.

There are only 23 more days before I fly back to Virginia, leaving Boston behind 'for good'. Obviously I'll be back for graduation, and maybe even for a wedding or two some day, but I'll probably never live here again. But I've grown to love the city dearly--it's twisted streets, it's crooked alleys and 3 story brown-stones, the Charles River, the Red Sox, etc, etc.

But I can't stagnate. I know in my heart there is something very important I was sent here to do. Maybe I'm already on my way--but in the mean time I'm trying to do my best and love those around me.

Woke Up From A Dream

2007-11-20T10:14:00.000-05:00

I just woke up from a dream about flying.

It was rather vivid and though I'm a bit spotty on the details and context of what was happening in the dream, I know this much:

I was on some journey, in a very harsh but brilliant landscape. At first it was a desert but later it becasme a craggy rocky coast with pine trees--but it was other worldly in that the water was completely clear and still, allowing you to see all the way to the bottom.

There were these things in the water, or more properly, floating on the top in large swirling patches, mixing with one another. Vivid reds, greens, browns--like algae blooms upon the crystal liquid.

Anyway, I was looking for something, with someone, but they weren't physically there--more like a narrator or still-small-voice. The items I was trying to get at this particular moment in the dream were up in an eve or rafter in this large wooden structure in the middle of the desert. The items were in (fake) leather cases, and looked something like the boxes that Emerson's lavaliere microphones are stored in.

I somehow got it into my head that I could fly up there if I wanted to. So I ran forward, leapt into the air, stuck out my arms and tried to fly.

Well, I sort of flew--but I had no control over my direction or altitude, and I quickly slowed, glided and fell/descended. But I kept trying, and eventually, I figured it out--I needed to work with the physics, what I knew about updrafts, birds, gliding, banking right and left to turn. I leapt into the air and flew into the air, riding an updraft and circling over the crystal clear pools and craggy rocks in a stunningly beautiful wilderness. (I don't know where the desert went at this point)

I dove down, gliding just above the water, then climbed up again, circling around and climbing higher into the clouds. i learned that if I climbed too steeply for too long, I would slow down and start to lose lift. It was thrilling and invigorating.

But eventually I landed. And when I did, I couldn't get going again.

I was once again outside that little wooden shack in the middle of the sand, and I though I ran and jumped, I just felt like a fool for ever thinking it was possible.

Now, I'm not sure of the meaning of this dream. But I feel it might represent my spiritual journey. If I could only figure out how to maintain lift, how to get off the ground...

I could soar.

The narrator, the voice that told me, urged me on, was the Spirit, guiding me--but I must do the real work.

It was a beautiful and marvelous dream. I hope I really can fly like that someday.

I'M NOT DEAD, YET!

2007-10-30T02:02:00.000-04:00

In the words of that old dying man in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, "I'm not dead yet".

Yes, my blog has gone horribly inactive. Sorry.

I just wanted to let you know that my film was shot two weeks ago, and I'll be getting the HD scanned footage back into the lab this Thursday!

WHOOPEE! On to post production!

Lifting Weights (From My Heart, For My Body, and From My Mind)

2007-08-23T17:51:00.000-04:00

I'm hoping that I can lift the burdens that have been weighing me down in my heart, and weighing down my mind.

And in the mean time, to mirror the transformation outside, I am hoping to lift weights to physically change.

If all goes well I'll be a whole new man.

So much has gone through my head this summer. I've ridden the highest highs meeting exciting new people, hiking thrilling trails and traveling to new places, but I've also been dragged through the lowest lows--suicidal thoughts, tears, frustration. Sometimes I swear I'm bipolar.

I've recently learned that while you can't always control what happens to you, you are always in control of how you react. Two people dropped into the exact same situation will learn different lessons, be wounded in different ways, or respond with different emotions.

Patience, love, faith, my friends. I realize how lucky I am that I have all these things in my life, all these people in my life, and all this love in my life. I know sometimes, when my heart is tired, it's hard to feel--but it's always there, and I'm working on recognizing it, capitalizing on it, to become a better man.

I hope I'm not boring you with my positivity drivel--but I've just been learning a lot these last few weeks.

Yesterday, I went out on a limb (for myself) and went weight lifting with my friend Aaron and his friend Patrick at Dixie State University. Normally, I would have made up some excuse not to go, but I realized that I have just as much ability to be successful in a gym as anybody else. So we went, I lifted, I leaned a lot, and now I'm convinced that I want to continue with a program when I return to school. I realized that all I needed was the right attitude and the support of a friend, and I could do it.

We can do anything we want to. The limitations in our lives are all self imposed, and I'm learning how be like Gorbachev--

and tear down [those] wall[s]!

So Friggin' Glad

2007-08-22T20:31:00.001-04:00

I'm so friggin glad that this summer is over. It's been one of the longest and the most lonely. All summer I sought friends and companionship, and for some inexplicable reason (God, The Universe, coincidence) it's only been that last month where I've been able to meet some people and actually have people physically around me to talk to.

Thanks to the couchsurfing project and the internet, friends with free airplane tickets and friends moving here to go to school, I've actually had a respectable social life.

The thing that concerns me the most is that I get depressed when I don't have friends around me. This, to me, indicates that I am measuring my self worth and my happiness based on other people. In other words, without friends, my self worth goes out the window.

I know better than this--but that's just the problem. I KNOW it, intellectually, I DON'T Believe and know it in my heart. I know that I have value and worth because I am a son of God and He loves me the same as everyone else, cracks, chips and all. If I could accept his love into my heart, and really do it, I think it would make a world of difference. Because I have a tendency to such low self image/esteem that I reject any love sent my way, probably even from God himself.

Regardless, I'm a little sad/miffed because several people who I interacted with this summer didn't pan out, and not for lack of trying on my end. I had at least 4 people who I either e-mail back and forth with or actually met that seemed to want friendship with me, but they didn't really want to help it develop. Odd thing is for all but one, they contacted me based on my internet postings.

Sigh. I'm trying to remain positive, but I need to get the hell outta dodge so to speak.

Jumping In

2007-08-17T19:57:00.000-04:00

Sometimes life is all about jumping in.

Yesterday was one of the most fun afternoons I've had all summer. I had a couchsurfer, Seth Donald, visit. We walked around silver reef talking, found the grated mine shaft openings from the 19th century mining operation, threw rocks down into the waterfilled mine, and got a great view of the community. Then we went back to the house got some water and talked some more, and I showed him my film two's from Emerson.

My only friend here in Utah, Nick, showed up to join us for a trip to Sand Hollow Reservoir. Let me just say, it was a blast. After doing some small jumps off the rocks near the shore, we all decided to swim out to this island because according to Nick that's where the best places to jump are.

After swimming the 1000 feet or so to the island, we found some pretty cool places to jump, but it was starting to get dark, and so we went in search of the place that was "where everybody jumps" and we found it, just in time. Seth jumped twice, Nick didn't jump at all, and I wasn't going to either, but I knew there was a good chance I'd not have the opportunity again. So before I knew it my feet were leaving the rock, and the fear gripped me and I thought "To late to turn back now!"

I fell, and fell, and screamed and fell.

SPLASH.

Probably one of the most physically adrenaline pumping thing I've done in many years--jumping of a 17-20 foot rock into water of undetermined depths.

I can't explain it, but I guess I don't need to. I've never fallen for so long in my life. Your mind is telling you your going to die, but you're okay...

Anyway, we swam back to shore, went home and had some delicious soup made with organic chicken and homegrown organic carrots and vegetables, courtesy of my father. We then watched Seth's film "The White Oath" a short 20 minute film, 3 years in the making, but REALLY impressive. He did just about everything.

The White Oath

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Make sure you watch the whole fight scene. Seth taught himself all the computer stuff necessary to make that work over the course of three years. I'm truly impressed, and I'm sure his name will be appearing on a big budget production in very little time.

Anyway, after the film, Nick went home, it wasn't long till we all went the the Hot Tub to watch the stars and have a relaxing soak. And after that, it was bed time, and we talked until 4 in the morning about just about everthing.

That's what I love about meeting new people--whenever I meet someone really cool for the first time, I talk to them until all hours of the morning because I just connect.

Life is sometimes about looking over the edge, seeing that impossibly high drop, and just jumping in. Your brain might be screaming at you the whole time, calculating the speed of descent, an as a bi-product of years of instinctive evolutionary process, informing you that you're good as dead.

But you're not.

I've come to a personal realization that one can't be afraid. Jump in, and have faith that it'll all work out in the end.

And it will.

They Should Have A New Name For It

2007-08-07T21:42:00.000-04:00

Del Taco on "Taco Tuesday" has 3 tacos for 99 cents. It's an amazing deal.

However, after taking part in 12 tacos, I feel Del Taco should have a more accurate name...

Like "Instant Regret".

Los Angeles, Synchronicity, and other thoughts as I turn 21.

2007-07-30T20:34:00.000-04:00

Well, it's here.

I'm officially 21 years around. My frail human form has been carried around that big old sun of ours 21 times, traveling millions of miles through space. I can now no longer pretend that I'm a teenager--I'm an adult. While still and always will be young at heart, I have begun to realize that in just a year, I'll be a full fledged adult. And what can I do about it? Nothing.

Synchronicity is the experience of two or more events which occur in a meaningful manner, but which are causally inexplicable to the person or persons experiencing them."

I have experienced synchronicity this week like no other. When I first arrived in St. George, UT, I tried posting an ad in the "Strictly Platonic" section of the St. George Craigslist. I received two e-mails from this ad, and neither of them ever panned out. In fact, I'd say neither of them ever really got started (though not for lack of trying).

So after this pathetic result, I figured the St. George Craigslist was a dry well, and so I moved on.

But a few weeks ago, I got an idea. "Post an ad advertising a RISK game night". And I kept forgetting to do it. "Besides", I said to myself, "I tried posting on craigslist and it didn't work". But everytime I forgot to do it, the voice in my head kept saying, "post it! post it!". And I did. And I only got one response.

Nick e-mailed me and commented that he was in a similar situation--in St. George working for his aunt, bored and looking for chill friends. We talked on the phone, and on the day of the RISK game, Nick called--he'd been in a small car accident. He was okay, but just was not in the mood to do anything because of it.

I told him I completely understood, and that if I wasn't going to be meeting old friends in Los Angeles and that might be weird or boring for him, I'd invite him to come with me. "I have friends in Hollywood I'd love to go see--let me think about that" To make a long story short, we actually met face to face for the first time when I picked him up at his house friday morning.

So at this point, you might be thinking--"well, Ezra, I think that's a very cool story and kind of dangerous to go on a road trip with someone you hardly know, but where does synchronicity come into play?"

That's the best part. It turns out, his Aunt, (who he's apprenticing) SOLD ME MY 1995 Saturn two months earlier! So I'd actually already been to his house, and he had already driven my car, even though we'd never met!

Wild huh?

Anyway, totally awesome guy. Met his friends in LA who were totally awesome. And now I have a friend here that has TONS in common with me.

Needless to say it was awesome and probably the best birthday present I could get short of a 2 feature directing contract. :) Hahaha that's not that funny.

To wrap this up, LA was amazing. Saw tons of familiar faces, thanks to Thadd W. throwing his own birthday party. Probably saw 20 people I knew, some I hadn't seen face to face in 2 years or so! Basically an all around amazing time. It was a pleasure to see each and every one of you!

I've also found that driving on LA freeways doesn't scare me, but I can see why people find it so intense. It does require a good deal of concentration.

Until next time, God bless, keep the faith, defend your rights, and don't be afraid.

Going Camping

2007-07-13T00:03:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone.

Maybe a weekend of camping will be what I need to get out of this funk. I hope so. We're going to Great Basin National Park and will be there for two nights and three days. Should be a good time. I've not been camping in a number of years, so hopefully I won't have become too soft!

Of course, with everything so dry, there'll be no fires, which means no s'mores. :( But it's a small sacrifice to make to save the state of Utah from burning to the ground.

Not sure what we'll do during the day. Probably relax, hike, take pictures, etc.

In other news, it rained yesterday! About 1/8th of an inch or so, but still exciting. However, it's a case of being too little too late, as the Leeds/Silver Reef irrigation pond has run dry. Hasn't run dry in 12 years, which was when they converted from ditch delivery to pipe delivery from the mountains. So now Dad's garden will either die, or he'll have to jury-rig the drip lines to the house's culinary water.

Ah Utah, it's a different world.

Be back on monday, hopefully with pictures, (for those on facebook).

Why Can't I Love Myself?

2007-07-11T11:59:00.000-04:00

Why is it impossible for me to love myself?

Why am I constantly feeling terrible, like a failure, dooming myself before I even begin? In my mind, I know certain things, but my heart, my soul aches and tells me they are false, untrue.

I'm probably just tired from working 80 hour weeks, sleeping in the heat because our air conditioner was broken for a week, and having a terrible diet because I'm working so long and hard that I don't bother to make healthy choices because a.) they are slower and b.) they are more expensive.

I'm still terrified of the fall, when I'm supposed to be producing a film, which will probably be "Maze" even though it'll probably turn out like crap because I haven't been doing any pre-production because I keep hoping I'll come up with a better script, a comedy or something that I'll be proud to show to people. But I don't even know that I have the knowledge to direct. I've never directed before, and I don't have a posse of folks who will work on my film because I have been spending all my time in the TV world.

I'm editing for The Edge with Jake Sasseville, and it's killing me. It's probably a good indication of what being a professional editor will be like, except that a professional editor gets paid and has assistants and producers who log footage, make paper edits. Graphics are already made, there are multiple cameras professionally operated so that the footage is much easier to cut.

I feel like I'm burning myself out on what's supposed to be summer vacation. While many of my friends are working and hanging out with friends in their spare time, I'm just working, because if I wasn't working, I'd be watching TV since I have no friends here.

I'm turning 21, leaving childhood behind for good, and I'm super unhappy about it in a way, because I feel like I'm the same person I was in high school, but all my creativity and energy is dwindling. I feel completely detached from myself, like a zombie.

My internet identity is probably stronger than my real one at this point. I'm probably going to regret making this post at all, because people will start telling me how 'everything will be all right' and all those lies you tell people when you don't know what else to say. I don't want anybody to say anything because I've heard enough. People talk and talk, but talking doesn't heal, it doesn't make you feel better in your heart. I'm not sure what can heal your heart.

Maybe love.

But I don't love myself, and you can't get love from others if you don't love youself first. The spirit is willing to change, but the body is weak.

I want to lose weight, I want to improve my body image, because that's at least 50% of it. I'm unattractive and I know it. I'm a health risk to my own body, sitting at a computer all day working and then getting fast food for lunch. But, you say, Ezra you can change that! You can diet, and exercise and better youself!

Sure I can, and I can lose the only comforts that I have in life? I don't have love, I have a hamburger, and I don't exercise because I don't have time and I hate the way it makes me feel.

But Ezra, if you just do it, you'll start to feel better, you'll start to feel better than you are now!

Sure, but how long? And in the mean time, what do I have to keep my from hanging myself on a piece of electrified barbed wire? Not much.

But Ezra, you have family and friends that love you, they'll help you and support you!

Perhaps. Too bad in just one year, I'll be all on my own in Los Angeles, and it'll be only me telling me what to do. Argh, I know I'll still have friends in LA, but they're not going to be able to motivate me to do things I hate. I'm too stubborn.

So yes, blame me for my shortcomings, I know I do. I'm the one with the power to change, but I hate the process, the process is so painful that I'd rather stay where I am, in familiar territory. Familiarity. I imagine this is the same reason drug addicts, even though they know drugs are destroying their lives, can't change. It's all too scary, all too hard.

Going to church, going to work, editing. Not socialization, no friends, no feelings of self worth or love. I wish I could get my heart to listen to my head.

But I can't. My heart is to broken to be healed by the kind words of my brain.

Hilarious, But Sick... I love the Onion!

2007-07-03T14:29:00.000-04:00

Report: Many U.S. Parents Outsourcing Child Care Overseas

Student Loans and Aching Bones

2007-06-29T16:57:00.000-04:00

I'm aching inside and out as I take a personal effort to make positive changes in my life, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I've started to run in the mornings for as long as I can (about a minute--not long) and then walking for 20-30 minutes as a fast pace. I'm so out of shape that it can usually take me the entire walk to get my heart rate slowed down from just running as hard and long as I can.

Student loans are something I've had to look into recently, and I'm going to see if Grandma will co-borrow with me so that I can get a better interest rate. It's really frustrating because I'm barely going to be able to afford this year, and it's as if I'm being punished for taking AP courses and doing non-tuition credits. (For those who don't know, I only need 19 credits to graduate, which is all they will consider for financial aid, even though because I'm in the LA program, I have to take 32 credits.) So I've got to get private funding for about 20,000 dollars which is a direct result of having AP and Non-Tuition credits counting towards my degree.

Oh well.

I'm excited that I may have made a new friend. I started e-mailing him based on a "strictly platonic" craigslist post, and after several days of exhaustive e-mailing, we're tentatively planning to meet up on July 14th... (he lives in Las Vegas) so hopefully we'll get along in person as well as we did in e-mails.

That's all for now. Take care and God Bless You All.

Working In A Cannery...

2007-06-18T21:36:00.000-04:00

Today I volunteered at the Latter-Day Saints Cannery in St. George. I worked a 4 hour shift, and I am sore and exhausted for it. I can't imagine working an 8 or 12 hour shift doing that kind of work.

My job was to remove cans from a pallet (each pallet contained about 1300 cans of apricots) and place them on a sloped ramp that fed them into a machine which slapped a label on each can.

What made the job tougher than it needed to be was the method of picking up the cans. You see, there is a "Best By" stamped on the bottom of each can, and the cans all have to be loaded onto the ramp with the "Best By" stamp facing towards me (or the wall). The person facing the wall can pick up a can with each hand the way you might pick up a glass of water and just set them on the ramp. However, from the opposite side (my side) you have to reach down from the top of the cans, using your fingers like a claw, and then place the non-stamped side down on the ramp first, then set the stamped side down and removing your fingers. In other words, it takes a lot more physical effort to load from my side then from the other side.

Either way, it was a good time, and I was one of 4 people from "my" ward in Leeds, UT. We met our quota with ten minutes to spare. It was kinda fun and I met some nice people, and I was able to serve and experience a little bit of traditional assembly line work. I would do it again, because in 4 hour shifts it is actually pretty fun!

Anyway, I must have picked up about 6,000-8,000 cans that morning, and now my fingers and arms are really sore.

Of course, when my shift ended at noon, I had to go to my real job, at ABC Herbs, from 12:30 until about 7:00 which was when I said "no, that's enough, my arms hurt a lot and I don't want to be working anymore." So what do I do? Go home and soak in the hot tub or watch a movie? No, I blog... Because I'm stupid and I'm trying to update as often as possible.

My father dropped my camera in a toilet a few weeks ago, rendering it disgusting (and inoperable, of course) so he bought me a replacement, and it came today, so I might go take some photos with it. It's a Kodak Z885, for those who are interested in looking up specs.

That's all for today. If you have any thoughts on a film idea or want to help on my BA Practicum, I've still made very little progress on all this. Please help!

So It's Been A Long Time Huh?

2007-06-16T15:54:00.000-04:00

Well, I realize that it's been a long time since I've talked to you. How am I?

I'm currently on the tail end (hopefully) of some head congestion that I picked up on a trip home from Virginia. It's been kind of a drag since I've been back--low energy, low desire to do much of anything.

While I was in Virginia I realized how much I miss being with friends and being on the East coast. It's probably because I grew up in Maine, but I really do think I am a New Englander at heart. I'm sure I'll like LA, but I'll need to get away to New England from time to time, I'm sure.

My sister Katie has graduated. So now none of my immediate family are in High School anymore. We're all adults, really, and it's strange to think about that. It seems like not so long ago that I was playing in big piles of leaves with my sister after (or before, as was more likely) we'd done our homework.

Well, on to new chapters in life. Lot's of crazy things have been happening lately. I am not getting any financial aid for Spring, which is when I'm going to LA. Therefore, I'll probably be needing an extra 30,000 dollars in private loans this year. Awesome.

I am still working on my BA Practicum film, and I thought I had come up with a good new idea, adapting a story from 1943 by Robert McCloskey called "Homer Price" but the jerk renewed his copyright in 1971, so it won't fall into public domain for another 11 years! Damn!

Now I'm back to square one trying to decide what to do, since I'm not sure I have the money or support or that I even like my Maze script, because it's not really me.

Anyway, I'm about to go see Shrek the 3rd with my brother David. Hopefully it'll be good. Matinee's are like 4.50, so I'm thinking I might go to the movies a lot more.

Until next time!

Now I'm back to square one--thought I think someday I will make it

I'm Going Home!

2007-05-02T10:49:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting at ATL-04, a G5 in the Advanced Technology Lab here at Emerson College. My room is empty and so is my stomach, but I am so excited to Journey to Utah today.

This year has been amazing, and I'm very pleased to be making more exciting changes for the future.

I'll check ya'll later.

I'm Getting The Hell Out Of Here

2007-04-30T22:22:00.000-04:00

Well, I didn't get nominated by the EVVY Awards for either Editing or Multi-cam director. But hey, screw it. I guess I'm just a mediocre editor. Third place at AICE, not even a nomination at EVVYs. Sweet.

Well, I'm glad I'm going home, because I'm tired of this crap.

Wow... This Is Amazing.

2007-04-22T22:21:00.000-04:00

This 1 hour documentary by BBC filmmaker Louis Theroux is amazing. He lives with the Westboro Baptist Church for what seems like a month, trying to discover what makes them tick. In case you don't know, WBC is behind the picketing of funerals of dead soldiers, and will soon be picketing the campus of Virginia Tech, explaining that everyone is feeling God's rage because America is doomed for being okay with gays and being a sinful nation. It's really a fascinating watch, but horrifying at the same time.

The irony is, that if they did what they are doing in just about any other country, they'd be in jail, or maybe even dead. With freedom of speech comes the annoyance of jerks like these, I guess.

I won!

2007-04-13T23:48:00.000-04:00

I won third place in the AICE Filmspotting Competition! And got not only 150 dollars, but amazing contacts with the director of the AICE and his wife (who can help me get jobs in post-houses at almost any major city in the US!) and was offered internships (unfortunately I'll be away for the summer, so I couldn't take them) but if you are interested in the seeing my entry, click here. It felt like I was really a professional! An amazing feeling.

Lots of excitement here as I've probably burned 50 DVDs in the last two days being everyones proverbial beotch to make DVDs for the EVVY awards. It's been a fun ride. Tommorow I'll be Camera Assistant Director (Camera AD) on a music program called "Musicians Wanted"--I'll let you know how it goes.

It's So Close--I Can Taste It

2007-04-09T00:51:00.000-04:00

I'm only three weeks away from the end.

I'm so excited.

Trip To The ER, Projects and Progress

2007-03-30T11:35:00.000-04:00

Hey Everybody,

I thought I'd give you an update on what's been happening in my so-called life as of late. I know that I haven't been keeping this blog up like I said I would, but it's not because I've not had better things to do.

After finishing up a long weekend on a film shoot as first AD, and during one of the days having an excruciating migraine headache, I finally got to sleep in a little, and I was happy. That is, until 6am when I woke up with crushing chest pain and extreme shortness of breath. I almost called the Hospital right then, but I was so tired, I suffered through it, since I was sure I wasn't having a heart attack, I figured it could wait.

I went to my noon class and about half way thtough it, I was getting winded very easily and so I called the school's clinic and they said that I should go to the ER. In retrospect I should have refused to go, since it was very expensive and took 7 hours and numerous tests to find out that it was nothing more than a viral case of Pericarditis, which is inflamation of the sac around your heart--the only thing they can do for it, is have you take anti-inflammatory drugs like Ibueprofen or Motrin and wait it out. What a waste of money.

However, it was good to find out that it wasn't serious, but I'm not going to follow up like they wanted me too, because it's just a waste of money.

Since then, I've been taking it easy--on Tuesday I stayed home all day and worked on the computer, and fortunately for me all my teachers seemed cool with it.

On Wednesday my group from Cinematography class headed down to my church in Cambridge... the Bishop had been kind enough to let us use the basement which houses a pool table for our lighting project. The shoot went well other than a small hiccup--the Bishop gave me the wrong key to the building so i was unable to get in... we had to call the ward clerk to come and let us in. But thankfully it all worked out and the project is going to look great. I'm getting the film back on Monday, I'll let you know how it turns out.

Thursday I returned to class, and I delievered my final edit of my sixty second commercial for the Filmspotting Competition. I had to edit a 60 second commercial for a real or imagined product using only footage from Little Miss Sunshine, New York Stories, and Old School. It was really fun, and I made an ad for DQ. Eventually I'll post a copy for you to check out.

The great part about this competition is that only 6 people of the initial 15 entrants actually completed the project and turned it in on the deadline. There are 3 prizes! I've got a 50% chance of winning a prize (1st-Avid Xpress Pro, 2nd-250 dollars, 3rd-100 dollars). And I know I'm a good editor, so there's a good chance I'll win first or second! But I won't find that out until April 12th.

The other great thing about this competition is that I now have an established relationship with a Boston Post-Production house. I met the owners, Noreen and Barry, (Barry has edited every single Olive Garden Commercial on TV, they have that account) and got some great advice and contacts out of the whole event. It's just awesome. Noreen even complimented me on my sense of timing... she said she could tell I was a real editor!

Awesome.

So now I'm importing Sound Effects for my Third audio project for Intro To Audio Production. It's kinda a tedious process, but I'm working through it and I should have something pretty sweet by 2pm or so. I guess that about does it for this edition of Ezra's Ramblings 2.0! Twice As Fast As Your A$$

By the way, BIG AWESOMENESS to my little sister who just recieved a 6,000 dollar a year merit scholarship from her school in Chicago--Way To Go!

Wow. Time Keeps On Slippin'

2007-03-21T10:39:00.000-04:00

It's been about two weeks since I've posted because I've been that busy.

Life is going swell here in the Big Cranberry. Just kidding, that's a retarded nickname for Boston. But as I was saying, I've got more editing projects than I know what to do with. And as luck would have it, my G5 started having major issues with it's logic board (known as the motherboard on any other brand of computer) and so I have been without my G5 for almost a week. Hopefully, if all goes well, I'll be picking it up today.

I've got a sound project due next tuesday, a fine cut of a film due tuesday (after I got a week extension), two short videos for Jake Sasseville due this thursday night, and a commercial edit due for the Filmspotting Competition due Thursday at 6pm.

Great time to have your computer conk out, really, the best possible time.

Nonetheless, it was under warranty, so I don't have to pay for anything--I have that much to be thankful for.

I'm also 1st AD on a film, all day Friday, Saturday and Sunday, leaving me just about zero time to get any of these projects done. My cinematography project needs to get filmed a week from today, and we still haven't storyboarded... we have equipment pickup at 9am next tuesday.

Wish me luck, because this is getting ridiculous.

New York City, Half Way Through The Week I Check In

2007-03-07T16:05:00.000-05:00

I'm currently sitting in the Battery Park apartment of a friend of Jakes importing a lot of his Africa footage for editing. He needs to have a bunch of little segments that he can have to show to people like executives and producers (like at Sundance Channel) to help get finishing funds. Sorry if that was a run-on sentance, but I'm simultaneously capturing footage and watching Scrubs.

So far my trip to New York City has been so-so. I have pretty much figured out the Manhatten bus and subway system, but I still have no idea where the stops are. So I often have found myself hitching a ride on the nearest bus until it passes a subway stop.

When I arrived on Saturday, it was practically balmy. I didn't even need a jacket it was so warm. Jake met with me and we headed to Marymount Manhatten College for his Edge writers meeting where I met many of his writers, shooters, editors and his director, David Sonkin. I had actually came to NYC running on only 3 hours of sleep, so I actually laid down in a cubby like bench in the hallway during a break in the writers meeting, and I fell asleep! It was kinda funny because I was awoken by Jake about 1.5 hours after I laid down--I had slept through the rest of the writers meeting.

After that we headed to Jake's home in Astoria, Queens, NY. It's a beautiful large (for New York) and inexpensive. This is largely due to the fact that it is over a half a mile from the nearest subway. It's remarkably quiet--when I woke up on sunday morning I could hear the birds chirping and singing... I thought I was back in the suburbs.

Sunday, Jake took me on a little tour of NYC. We sort of walked around, visited the apple store, walked up the south side of central park over to Columbus Circle where we visited a Trump tower (they are like everywhere). Visited a Samsung store and almost got kicked out for sitting and watching HDTV for too long. We had lunch off the hot bar at Whole Foods, and after that we proceeded to Times Square. Took some photos for ourselves and others and tired to find a public restroom--it's harder than you think.

After that we split because Jake had a meeting, and I continued to explore, entering Macys and doing some more wandering around, visiting Grand Central Station. Then I tried to meet up with Tarabeth who goes to NYU, but she was busy, so I decided to check in later in the week.... still need to do that... ;)

On Monday I wandered through Central Park, checked out the Bethesda Fountain (featured in Godspell and Angels In America among many other films) Passed the Dakota apartments where John Lennon was shot down, and then headed south to check out the Latter-Day Saint Temple in NYC--it was closed, being monday, but was interesting to see nonetheless. Then I proceeded to Ground Zero where I walked around the perimeter.

I feel bad, but I didn't really get much of an emotional response out of it... it has become a construction site, and a tourist attraction now... I just didn't feel like it was real. That was what made me feel bad... but you'd never believe the enormity of the site until you visit. I, for one, had no idea that they have already rebuilt WTC7. Unbelievable... but then again, it was 6 years ago... A lot can change.

After that I headed home because I was cold and kinda tired, but I decided to head out the next day with one very specific mission--get standby tickets to see The Colbert Report. I showed up outside the building in 10 degree whether (less with wind chill) and waited with some other kids until we were finally able to sign up for a standby ticket... I was 6th in line. They told us to come back at 6;10pm to see if they'd have room for us. To make a long story short, they let in everyone in front of me. I was turned away. It was really sad. I was positively freezing at this point, and I even went back and practically begged to be let in. Of course I was turned away.

After that I found the nearest bookstore to crawl into and warm up, reading for about half an hour before they closed and kicked me out. Then I took a bus anyway, (turned out to be downtown) just to get warm. I passed B+H photo, and I got off hoping to go in, but they had also just closed. So I walked east and passed a Loews/AMC and decided that I might as well see a movie. I saw Reno 911 Miami. It was very funny, but no funnier than the TV show.

I also visited an urban K-mart which was an odd experience. Its probably the most confusing place ever, with three floors, none of which are of the same shape or size.

Then, after that, I headed to meet up with Jake, but due to confusion, we missed eachother and I was freezing and had to walk home alone.

But the next day we rose at the crack of dawn (6:45) and headed into Manhatten to Battery Park City (Just southwest of the WTC Site) to do editing for Jake's Africa stuff. And so here I am now, editing in his friend Joe's apartment, Wild.

That's all but I'll give you more updates soon. Later!

Good Things And Bad Things

2007-03-02T02:37:00.000-05:00

Good Things:
Sold my pickup truck for $650 dollars--I'm badly in need of cash.
Will be getting a new phone courtesy of a buy one get one free deal from my grandmother.
Going to New York City for Spring Break
Working on getting my patriarchal blessing
Probably going to watch the Wizard of Speed and Time with friends tommorow

Bad Things:
Probably going to face some sort of punishment from Housing and Residence Life for being in a video on the internet where a college policy was violated, (even though I was not actually the one breaking the rules)
I'm going to have to sleep on the floor or couch while staying with Jake
Very Tired
Not posting like I should
Not getting the work done that I should be getting done

Sorry it's short, but I'm going to bed. Peace.

Editing Away, Making It Happen!

2007-02-27T13:54:00.000-05:00

Today I have the fascinatingly fun job of editing another Uppereast.com video. The owner of the site is casting to find more hosts/co-hosts for the UpperEast.com videos. Jake Sasseville and I will be spending spring break in NYC editing some trailers/teasers and whatnot from his 60 hours of Africa Footage, and during that time I'll get to "do" NYC!

I'm really excited about this, because Jake is putting me up, paying for my food and my travel, in exchange for which I do some editing for him on The Edge. I've been working on a list of things that I'd like to do while there.
Possibilities...
1. Ground Zero
2. Time Square
3. Statue Of Liberty
4. Visit TaraBeth at NYU
5. Central Park
6. Take in a Broadway Show
7. Gray Line
8. Toys'R'Us and ride the indoor ferris wheel
9. Eat at a Jewish Deli
10. B AND H Photo Video!
11. General Wandering and Exploring
12. Visit the top of a tall building (not necessarily the Empire State Building)
13. Check out the high-line in the Meatpacking district

More ideas to come!

Taxes, Money, And Life--It's all flowin' downhill!

2007-02-23T14:54:00.000-05:00

Tax day is coming, financial aid applications are due and lots of paperwork is going to be doing. However, I shouldn't worry about that, as I've got several major editing projects to finish up, and some more editing to do over spring break in NYC!

I called Stewart Colley, my High School chemistry teacher and had a lovely bit of catch-up time with him. It's really great to have friends that are from a different generation who you can call when you are tired of your peers. What a great guy.

I also heard from Jake S. who has confirmed an edit suite for me while I'm in NYC, so I'll be able to enjoy NYC and edit for Jake while I'm down there.

And one last note, I'm going to be editing a sixty second spot for a competition, and I'll be working with a local edit house in Boston, called "Panache Editorial", and I'll be working with a professional editorial... how cool is that?

Well, I'm meeting with Katie M. to work on editing CMYK. Later!

Important Things, That Could Help Everybody

2007-02-22T01:53:00.000-05:00

Sometimes when I spend a whole day working on a project and teaching myself a new piece of software like Adobe Audition or DVD Studio Pro and figuring out all the little things I want to do as I do them, I think about all the things that I could do if I was focusing that energy on something big, something important that could help everybody.

Oh brother. I'd better get to bed.

Gentle Reminders

2007-02-20T23:21:00.000-05:00

There are a lot of things that remind me and reinforce decisions I have made in the past. Just today in cinematography class, I was talking with Matt V. about the Emerson Channel and why we both left. I don't regret the decision at all, and neither does Matt.

I still believe that Kevin S. Bright, the director of the hit TV show "Friends" is inadvertently responsible for the destruction of The Emerson Channel. When he showed up, everyone let the channel fall to the wayside and The Zebro Show became priority number 1, even though people had prior obligations.

I was also reminded today why I don't want to be involved in on campus organizations--because unless you are one of the chosen few, you'll never get the high positions that you want. Needless to say, I am leaving my schedule open to continue allowing myself time for my post production work, and I'll be doing some film work near the end of the semester, but my desire to work in TV is really almost non=existent.

Sorry if this post is a little muddled. I'm actually working through the time consuming and tedious process of digitizing all my old VHS tapes and creating DVDs out of them. At the moment, I am digitizing a VHS copy of a middle school play I was in called "10 Brides Of Dracula". It's basically horrifying and embarrassing. It's the kind of thing I should be destroying while I have the chance. But instead, I am preserving it so that one day my children have something they can make fun of about me.

I'm also working on a homemade birthday gift for my brother, since I have no money, and it's also one of the only things I could think of he would really like. David, if you are reading this, I will get your birthday gift to you, but it might be a little late.

Well, I've got a lot of work before me. It's fun though, so It's really not even work!

Long Weekend, Presidents Day Dreams

2007-02-19T12:31:00.000-05:00

Well, this is day four without any classes or really anything major to do. I still haven't done the writing I'd like to do. So be it. I've been listening to Joni Mitchell a lot, and she has such beautiful music, with great messages. I sometimes wish I could do sound the same way--singing is something I love to do, but I don't do it nearly enough, and when I do I don't do it "correctly" so it doesn't improve my skills.

I'm down to about 12 dollars and a jar of change, but now I have no money on my T pass, so I can't even go anywhere.

It was a strange night... it got very cold, and since for the first time in weeks I went to bed at a reasonable hour, I slept somewhat fitfully and woke up a lot. And again I had weird dreams. I woke up at about 7am and laid in bed thinking about my dream and thinking that I should haul my butt out of bed and write it down. Alas, I did not, and so all that remains is a faded shadow of ideas. Visions crossing paths in the night. I only remember that the dream had a magic to it, about the realigning of something amazing. I remember only one image from the dream, which was a forest of pine trees, and something being placed and said which caused all the pine to turn a brilliant white, in all directions, spreading through the woods like a fire.

"Woke up, it was a Chelsea morning, and the first thing that I saw
Was the sun through yellow curtains, and a rainbow on the wall
Blue, red, green and gold to welcome you, crimson crystal beads to beckon

Oh, won't you stay
Well put on the day"

Joni Mitchell sings with such an awareness, a heightened sense, that she could certainly empathize with what I felt as I slept through the night. For those who don't know, Boston is a city that sleeps. At 4:00am or so, not a soul can be seen on the streets. My room got very hot in the middle of the night, and so I cracked my window. The pressure difference started making howling sounds in the window, but soon there was silence, and through my sleep and my dreams I would hear the scrape, scrape, scrape, of a lone person moving down the icy sidewalk. It was as if they were walking right next too me, even though I'm 8 stories up.

Today, I have goals, ideas and dreams. Will they come to fruition? Or will they wither on the vine?

Another Day, Wasted.

2007-02-18T00:29:00.000-05:00

Today I accomplished nothing.

No joke.

I woke up at about 12:30pm, and I sluffed around my room until about 3:00pm when I went for my first meal of the day, where I had a double cheeseburger and fries. It was good, but I realized that I was disgusting. That much sleep, no exercise, and disgusting greasy food, well--you see what I mean?

I received a call from Maxx H, who chatted with me for a while. It was good to here from him, but unfortunately he couldn't talk long. I completely understand though, since I do that to people on a regular basis, being the busy bee I am.

What else? I'm going to be writing a short script about pickup lines in addition to my BA project. I will then shoot and edit it to enter and hopefully win a competition being put up by Studica.com. By entering, I'll not only save 50 dollars on the cost of AVID, an editing program that I will be buying as soon as my check from Jake Sasseville comes in, but if I win, I'll make 500 dollars and some software. Sweet.

Unfortunately, I haven't been getting any writing done, I haven't edited any of my sound project, and I haven't been planning my cinematography project or my paper for my Gen-X behind the camera course.

Basically, I feel like a lazy worthless sack of crap. Not sure how true that is, but my dreams are getting more anxious every night, and my sleep patterns are way off.

Goodnight.

ProTools Sucks and other notes...

2007-02-16T11:58:00.000-05:00

Today I attempted to work on my audio production project, using a very pro, very complicated software called "ProTools"

In about 30 minutes I was more frustrated then I'd been in a really long time. Partly because I was not really sure of what I was trying to do, and partly because the audio suites are set up with the computer monitor about 3 feet away from the viewer, high and at an angle, but mostly because I couldn't figure out how to do some things that should be incredibly simple. But in fortunately, I got so fed up that I didn't even finish what I was working on.

I should be happy with my current situation, because I have no other projects or distractions to worry about--leaving my time to brainstorm and write for my BA Practicum Script, and to brainstorm and create an outline for a 20 page paper I have due in a month.

Here are some reasons why I should be accomplishing a lot:
It's freezing outside, so I don't feel the need to go anywhere
I'm Broke (Current Liquid Assets: 15.77 and a jar of change.)
No editing projects are due at the moment
No real homework
A long weekend

So what am I doing? Not my audio project, not my writing. I'm listening to music on the computer and blogging. Argh.

In other news, I was offered the position of Warm-Up host in the EVVYs and I took it. It's not exactly what I wanted, but it's at least performing on the Cutler-Majestic stage. And that is something that I've wanted. One of the other benefits is that I get to write my own material. This is exciting because I'm going to get the audience ready to go... you know? Get them excited for the awards.

Anyway, I'm basically wasting my entire day. Why do I feel so guilty about this? Whatever.

Editing Away, Everyday.

2007-02-12T17:14:00.000-05:00

Every day, I seem to be editing away.

Swordplay, CMYK, The Edge, Uppereast.com, Women In Motion. It's consuming me and my time... but I don't really mind.

I was joking with my friend with today that since what I'd really like to do someday is direct, I will edit for Scorsese or Tarantino and they'll be like "Ezra, you're so talented, why don't you direct your own feature, I'll help you get financing".

Hahaha, right. Seriously, it seems like all I'm ever doing now is editing--and that's not a bad thing, but I'm still not sure if I should be broadening my horizons more or not. I've planned to go to New York City over Spring Break and help Jake Sasseville by editing clips of his Africa trip into promotional pieces of 2-5 minutes in length. In addition, during that time I am going to be working with Joe Collesano on making our BA Practicum film idea/pitch, so that we can get into the program. I can't wait, partially because I want see NYC, which I've never really done, but also because I'll get to make some great contacts through Jake, and meet some of the people I've been working for remotely.

When I go to NYC, I'm also going to visit B and H photo, which will be amazing. For those who aren't into that sort of thing, BandH is like Toys'R'Us store of Video and Photography and lighting. Basically, I'll spend a whole day there.

Got a big agenda coming up. I'm pretty content with what I've got on my plate at the moment. Maybe I have found what I really want to do. I mean, I really love having my own workspace and editing. I like it a lot more in a way than stressing out about all the little details and relying everyone else to do their part of the work or risk having the whole project fall apart.

I'm really nervous and excited about the whole BA Practicum project, but what makes me nervous is that if I am going to be working with a close friend on a project that we'll both be pumping in excess of 5,000 dollars into, it had better be damn good.

How do you make a good film? Well, you've got to have everything be extraordinary... sound, lighting, story, cinematoraphy, direction, acting, production design... it's all got to be seamless, flawless and above all, moving the compelling story forward.

It's a tall order, but I think I can do it. I'm talented... I just have to go for it, and stop worrying about the what-ifs.

Three Out Of Four Ain't Bad!

2007-02-11T11:56:00.000-05:00

Well, I didn't blog yesterday, as some of you may have noticed, but hey, as the title of this post suggests, I'm still doing pretty well.

Anyway, I'm been having more dreams, and they are all anxiety ridden. I keep dreaming about stress and fear, probably because I'm very nervous about the future. I can tell myself in my mind that everything is going to be alright, but my mind doesn't seem to listen. I'm going to have to start taking skullcap again.

Church at 2:00, but I've got to see if I can get some things done so I can leave at 1:00 to get there for the 1:30pm choir practice.

Last night we had a big 20th birthday party for Richard Feindel at CPK (California Pizza Kitchen). It was a grand old time and the food was delicious. I wish I could eat that well everyday. The best part was when we Richard walked in, because we were all seated in this big common area just out side the restaurant, because there were over 30 people, and that was the only space they had. We screamed "Happy Birthday Dick" and started clapping and singing happy birthday, basically everyone in the whole place was watching. Hilarious.

This one's probably going to be short, but hey, when you post daily, the amount of new data gets a little thin. Later!

Wierd Dream, Bad Night Sleep, and a Rude Awakening

2007-02-09T16:03:00.000-05:00

Last night I taught an AVID editing workshop on campus, and three students had RSVP'd. Only one showed. So we had a nice one-on-one session and I taught her all the basics. After the workshop, my friends and I went to Cold Stone Creamery for some ice cream. I got Cake Batter and Mint Ice cream mixed, with oreos. YUM!

Then I went home and worked on a DVD of the Uppereast.com videos. I finally finished it and went to bed at about 4am.

Four hours later, I was awoken with some cramps. Probably due to eating a big bowl of that rich ice cream. Needless to say, after some time in the bathroom, I was finally able to go back to bed. But by this time, it was very difficult to fall back asleep.

I finally fell into a fitful sleep, and had a very strange dream. Some of you might be familiar with my Earthquake in Boston post from this summer, and this was a similar dream. I was living in a city, perhaps some sort of bizarre combination of Detroit, Boston, and New Haven. It was a big city, and it was rocked by an earthquake. The damage wasn't that bad--few buildings came down completely, but parking structures and other buildings were very weakened. The odd part came in the aftermath.

Everyone started to die.

I'm hazy on exactly what caused this in the dream, but I remember that, like Detroit, people started disappearing and the city emptied. No one came to help, and I knew that no one would... the death was not going to stop because it was undoubtedly greater then just the city.

It was summer, and if I remember correctly, I was living with my wife or maybe some other people, and that the death skipped our apartment. We didn't go out and lived off what food we had in the apartment. As the days passed and more people died, I would look out from the windows (our apartment was on the fifth or sixth floor) and watch as gangs of boys, without parents, would wander the street, breaking windows and eating what food they could find.

Law enforcement was obviously gone, and I was afraid--but not so much for myself, but for the safety of those around me. I was enveloped with the magnitude of what was happening around me.

The gangs became more violent, because they began to starve. The supermarkets were empty, and no trucks came to replenish them--everyone was gone. Boys staggered in the street, crying and calling the names of dead mothers into abandoned buildings. They would fight over the remaining cans of food until someone was hurt or killed.

I carelessly started eating a sandwich--presumably we had some source for supplies, either our own pantry and rooftop garden, perhaps a generator,though I don't remember where it came from--near a window that faced the street.

I was spotted by a group of boys.

They screeched and screamed. "He's got flour and dough, he's got sugar, he's got..." they began to scream. I ducked and closed with windows and the blinds, and told my wife/the female in the dream to get down and bolt the doors. Only, I couldn't remember if the door was locked, and so I ran and turned the bolt--it was locked, and I had just unlocked it--which allowed the door to be pushed open at that very moment.

But instead of a wave of starving boys, it was just one, and he begged for help as he pushed his way inside. Either because he was already inside or because of the sadness of sorrow that I felt for him, we took him in. He started to live with us.

I don't remember much after this point in the dream. Within the dream, I was thinking like it was actually happening, and trying to get out of the city. I remember some how risking driving a car out of a parking garage (damaged by the earthquake) and drove around the city, and almost getting cornered by a gang in a dead end street.

That's my dream, and I wish I could remember more. It's really fascinating to see what dreams I can remember vividly, and what dreams dissipate like smoke when I open my eyes. Not wanting to get over analytical, I think there is a reason that I keep dreaming about disasters and helping people. Maybe that's what I'm supposed to do, help other when the world falls apart. My father had visions of that sort of thing when he was my age, and maybe I'm seeing the same things.

At the same time, who doesn't think about the demise of civilization from time to time?

When I finally got up around noon, it was involuntary as well. There was a black man on the street corner yelling something incomprehensable, but very loud. It sounded like either "Satan Savior" or "Save me Satan" or "Savior Save Me"--honestly I have no idea. The police took him away. It's my hypothesis that he was on drugs of some kind because he was shaking violently at some points.

After that initial excitement, I went to lunch, and have been cleaning, organizing, editing, and doing other work all day. Hope all is well, and that your enjoying the renewed vigor with which I am updating my weblog.

It's Morning In America!

2007-02-08T09:37:00.000-05:00

Well, I told you yesterday that I was going to try and write for 15 minutes every day, and here's day one. I titled this post "Morning In America" because it seemed clever at the time. After all, it's morning, and I'm posting in my weblog.

Arguably, it is pretty late in the morning, and most of America has been up for several hours. Whatever.

Armed with some organic vanilla yogurt for breakfast, I'm ready to face the day. Two classes: Gen-X: Behind the Camera, and Introduction to Audio Production. Both are nice classes, but I don't have a long enough break in between to get lunch, which is frustrating, because I don't like eating lunch at 2:00pm.

I e-mail the creator of the NSP "Don't Worry Be Happy" video, (see previous post) and I received permission to have it on YouTube, but he recommended that I contact NSP because they are the actual owners. As soon as I can I'll find someone (probably in PR) and contact them.

Anyway, class is coming up so I better let this post go. I realize it kind sucked, but, oh well.

Whoa!!!! New Web Presence!

2007-02-07T16:17:00.000-05:00

So it's official: I've got a website. If you type in http://www.ezrahorne.com you'll see the framework for a new exciting web presence.

It's amazing how much the computer takes up in time and energy. I've got videos to edit for myself, my class, Jake Sasseville, Uppereast.com, and films. I've got DVDs to burn, VHS tapes to import and convert to a digital format, websites to build and design, videos to upload to Youtube.com, building and maintaining web presences on Facebook, Myspace, Blogger and more.

Basically, real life has been supplanted by the digital realm.

For those of you who know me, you'll be aware that I'm always working on something, and recently I transferred "Don't Worry Be Happy" from VHS and uploaded it to Youtube. All Nature's Sunshine Employees should check this video out. I'm not sure of the exact year this was made, but I believe it was before 1986 because my Dad is in it and he stopped working there in 1986.

You can view my other recently uploaded videos by going to my YouTube User Profile.

I'm going to try and write on this weblog for at least 15 minutes a day. It's a lofty goal, but I think I can do it. After all, I spend so much time doing nothing of import, I can at least spend some time updating my friends and family on the excitement happening here at Emerson.

Tomorrow I will be teaching a workshop on Avid editing for EIV. Hopefully I'll be an effective teacher and get my fellow students really excited about this. After all, Avid is industry standard, and despite all the hype about Cold Mountain being edited on Final Cut Pro, Avid was actually still used in the finishing process of the film.

My roommate Joe and I are going to be making a BA Practicum film in the Fall. However, before we can do that, we have to come up with a terrific idea and then pitch it in March, so that we can get accepted into the program. After that, I'll be taking out a loan of at least 5,000 dollars so that together we'll have a budget of 10,000 dollars for a short. It's not a lot of money, but hopefully it will be enough to make us a really nice calling card film for when we go to Los Angeles in Spring of 2008.

My roommate has started to get sick, so I'm trying to fend it off to keep myself healthy by drinking lots of liquids and taking my herbs.

Well, that's all for now, but I'll post again later!

In Maine, At Work With My Sister

2007-01-26T10:33:00.000-05:00

So I'm in Maine, and since everyone I know here is either in college or working today, I had nothing to do. So I decided to go with my sister Sarah to work. She works for a guy who owns an leases properties in Maine, and has an office in City Center, in portland. It's really a neat office. I'm sort of helping out in an attempt to save myself from boredom. Even though I wouldn't mind helping... it's like take your brother to work day.

Oddly enough, I saw The Devil Wears Prada for the first time the other night, and enjoyed it. Both Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway give excellent preformances, (although I feel like Hathaway is playing the same type of character that she played in "The Princess Diaries"

NOTE- I didn't post this entry until Feb 9th, because I forgot I had saved it as a draft.

A Week Of Defense

2007-01-25T18:30:00.000-05:00

So this week has been really messed up. I don't even know where to begin. But let's put it this way--I've been fighting all week and I can't believe I'm still going.

I had to defend myself against a vandalism allegation from Emerson College (charges dropped)

Then I had to fight Bank of America to stop them from raping me with fees (Still in progress)

And today I had to go to traffic court and fight a speeding ticket. (I was not successful in dismissing the ticket, but I reduced the fine by 85 dollars. It's now only 100 dollars.

Well, what else?

I'm in maine and I'll still be in Maine until Sunday. I'm going to hang out with my sister, Sarah and my friends Tanner and Zak. Hopefully I will do well at my EVVYs audition when I get back. However, I really think I screwed it up because I upset the Executive producers. Hopefully they will not hold anything against me. I've wanted to host the EVVY Awards since I was a prospective student. I could do a really good job too, and this is my last chance.

We'll see.

I'm pretty tired, and the workload this semester is going to be pretty heavy as usual. However, this year, I'm going to try and do better!

CMYK Teaser Clip Reel

2006-12-06T22:14:00.000-05:00

Watch this! I Assistant Directed this! It was three hard intense weekends, but watching this footage makes it all worth it.

As a side note, at 0:42 seconds you can see my small cameo in the film as a bored high school student. I'm in a red jacket almost center frame.

Let me know what you think!

Okay, Sorry. Christmas Time Is Here!

2006-12-01T11:40:00.000-05:00

Well, I actually feel a little bit into the Holiday Spirit this year. Last night I went to the tree lighting ceremony on Boston Common. It was great. We counted down the 10 seconds before the tree lit up, and when it did, the lights were beautiful. They had a small fireworks array that shot up from near the base of the tree, and all I could think about was,

"I hope the tree catches on fire so it'd be a real 'lighting' ceremony"

Obviously that did not happen.

For those of you who don't know, our tree is given to Boston every year by Nova Scotia for their help and aid after the 1917 explosion of a ship which killed 1,900 people. Pretty aweful stuff.

Some of you have been eagerly awaiting my christmas list, and well, here is the latest version. I'm trying to think of more cheap things to add, but it's hard sometimes, because I already can buy the cheap stuff.

View the list here: http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifChristmas Wish List

It is also viewable on the sidebar at any time.

Merry Christmas!

It's been awhile...

2006-11-09T23:35:00.000-05:00

Life tends to move along at its own pace. It cares not how fast or how slow you might like time to pass. Some days fly by, and sometime meetings or classes draw out forever.

I'm very busy (which I like) and it's making me work a little harder.

Flossing is becoming easier. I've started to brush and floss every night. It's good because I feel like I'm actually doing something right and so far am succeeding in it. I mean, it doesn't change the fact that when I went to the dentist the other day I found out I have eight cavities. But at least it scared me into taking care of myself.

In the mean time, I've got editing for Jake S. and Uppereast.com to do, which is nice because it's something that I love to do and it brings in the cash. However, I'm also First Assistant Director for a BA Practicum film. Our second week of shooting is tommorow and we are going to be shooting at a very empty mall in Billerica Massachusetts. I haven't seen the location, but if it's anything like they described, I'm sure it'll be amazing.

ADing is hard, because you've got to be constantly pushing everyone to get they're work done. You are in charge of scheduling and pacing the shots so that you can really move through the day and stay ahead of the game. If you fall behind, it's your job to basically invent time--either eliminating or combining shots, making people go faster, or spinning the globe backwards--whatever it takes.

I got a call from the Elders here in Boston today. It's actually the second time they've called and I've missed them. But I don't call back. Partly because I'm too busy to have a serious meeting with them, but I think part of it is that I'm afraid that when they meet me they'll see through me, see that I should be in there shoes, on a mission like them. And they'll think less of me. And I don't need more feelings of inadaquecy in my life--I've already got enough.

As for other things, my classes are moving along at a good clip. I've got a presentation on Islamic Architecture due sometime in mid December, two more editing projects to complete for Editing Class, my final draft of my second project and my third writing project... argh, there is still so much to do.

Life is like trying to empty the ocean. No matter how much you scoop out, there will still be the same amount of water in the sea.

Wish me luck on the shoot tommorow... I'm going to need it!

Work! Work! Work! It's Why I Am A Jerk!

2006-10-19T11:57:00.000-04:00

I am not posting regularly because I am always working on something or other and I don't think about it. However, now that I have a paper to write, scripts to draft, etc, it is the perfect time to post, because I can use this as a procrastination tool.

Tommorow I'll be heading down to the Cape to help on Tyler Bell's BFA film, the Hop. It's going to be amazing. The film has a 20,000 dollar budget! They've got losts of equipment, too, which is awesome.

Needless to say, I'm still waiting on my car to sell, and hopefully it will sell so I can afford the G5 I bought.

We'll see. Wish me luck!

Rejected

2006-10-15T22:30:00.000-04:00

Well, I was not selected as Director for any of the Women In Motion films.

I guess this was to be expected, since I haven't really directed anything on this campus since I've been here. It makes me really frustrated.

Oh well.

The Proposal...

2006-10-02T22:50:00.000-04:00

I pitched my script to Women In Motion (a film group I am involved in) and it was chosen to be produced!

It's called "The Proposal". Based on a satircal essay by Jonathan Swift (titled "A Modest Proposal"). In the paper, written in 1729, Swift suggests that the citizens of Ireland can end their poverty problem by selling poor babies that parents cannot support, for food, to the rich of Ireland and Britian.

My story follows a poor, young couple, Patrick and Emily as they spend an evening together. They end up at a deli where they sell their one year old baby girl for money. But this is no shock for the parents. It is an everyday occurence in modern day.

It's a great little script which I might have to re-write, but I'm happy about it, and happy that it was chosen. I'm now nervous to see if it will be done justice. We'll see. I think I am going to go out for Director.

What else? I've accepted a position as post-production coordinator for Kevin Bright's show. That is pretty cool because I'll be able to say I worked with Kevin Bright, executive producer of Friends.

Payment arrived the other day for work I did for Jake S. on a website video. It was nice thing to get in the mail. I've got a bunch of editing to do in the coming weeks, along with lots of writing and other creative work. I am happy, but nervous about how this will all pan out.

We'll have to see.

Fall Is Coming

2006-09-29T14:46:00.000-04:00

Well, Fall is coming.

I'm excited for it, but sad that it will soon be very cold.

It rained very very hard for about 5 minutes before clearing up. It is now sunny and almost completely dry. Rather impressive.

When the leaves start to change, I really want to take the D line out to Riverside, and the Red line out to the Ashmont-Mattapan high-speed shuttle. It's such a beautiful time in New England.

I've got 3 TV shows I'll be working on. I'm assistant directing Tube Talk and AfterHours, and if the auditions go well today, I'll be talent on the Gentlemen's Club.

This weekend I'll be turning in a script for Women in Motion and hopefully I'll get a chance to direct or DP or produce a film for them this year. If I can, I'll be on a film shoot every weekend.

Joe Collesano want's me to help him on his film two, and I probably will. I've got "The Hop" Tyler B's project, and hopefully more will be coming.

Editing jobs are rolling in as well. Stephen C. and Alex C. want me to edit the weekly podcasts of there VM498 Show. Hopefully I'll be able to do all of that and still edit the EDGE and Uppereast.com edits.

We'll see how it's all going soon enough.

Wow! Wowwy Wow Wow!

2006-09-22T21:00:00.000-04:00

That's a reference to something that Steve Martin says in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.

I am updating right now to let you know what's going on in my mind and my life.

The audition's for all ECTV Programming were today, and I didn't go at all. You see, I am pulling away from the Emerson Channel this year because I want to leave my time open so that I can go on film shoots at have time to edit movies and do my own things. Please be aware that I love and respect the Emerson Channel, but it is time for me to move along, at least temporarily, so that I can dive into film.

It's really scary, as I said before, but I sat down with Pete Chvany, advisor of the EVVY awards and he told me that he thinks that it's okay to experiment and try new things because that's what college is for, and you will usually be forgiven for leaving one area for another as long as you are clear on why.

In reality, the times they are a changing, and I'm trying to bring my film experience to fruition. It's about time.

I'm just worried that people will think that I don't care about TV or the friends I have made there and that I am abandoning them there.

This is not true at all. I just want to make films for a little while, and see what it's like, to re-affirm the things that I want to do.

I'm already starting to worry about being in too far over my head. I'm going to be editing a podcast (10 segements) over the sememster, about 1 every week or so, and I am a little worried about getting that done ontop of my classwork and other editing jobs and obligations. But I'm sure I'll figure out a schedule soon enough. The calender year is still young.

What else? I'm teaching a bolex workshop tommorow at 1:00pm, and I'm really excited and nervous about it. After all, it's not something that I've ever done before, and I'll have all these freshmen looking up to me! How cool! It's going to be a fun and exciting time, and I'll try and let you know how it goes.

BlueYonder, Who Are You?

2006-09-16T23:54:00.000-04:00

I've noticed that I've been getting repeat hits from a person in the UK. Their ISP is Blueyonder something or other, and then always find there way to my weblog by searching "ezra horne" in google.uk.

I don't think I know anyone in the UK. So who could it be? If it's someone I know, can you e-mail me at let me know who it is? I'm curious.

If it isn't someone I know, then I am super excited that someone finds my life interesting enough to be following.

As for the rest of my visitors, thanks for coming, and keep coming back!

Introspection...

2006-09-14T10:35:00.000-04:00

I'm at a point in my life where it is becoming crucial that I start examining what I am doing.

And it's crippling me.

I'm paralyzed with the fear that if I make a sudden change to what I am doing, I won't be able to make it, or that I will be rejected, or that I will have made the wrong decision. It's scary.

I'm not happy with my job at The Emerson Channel, and I think I am going to ask to either be giving a creative position or leave the channel. That's scary. I'll be losing my spending income and creating potention problems down the road. Should I just stick it out? I don't know, and find it impossible to tell. But I know that I am not sleeping well, that I'm already feeling anxious, and it's only day 4... nothing has started yet!

I still have to drive my car home from the North Shore. I think that I might do it today if possible, so that I can have one less thing to worry about. I'll have to pack a camera to get some photos taken for when I sell it.

I'm sorry these posts are getting lamer. I've got a lot of goals on my plate for this sememster, and sometimes I wonder if I'll be able to meet them all. I have been walking about 30 minutes everyday with a few skipped days, but I think as long as I walk 5 times a week or so I should be able to fight weight gain and maybe even lose weight.

My meeting with a trainer from the Emerson College Fitness Center is Monday. I'll be taking a fitness test, and working with them to make a fitness plan so that I can increase my energy and stamina while hopefully loosing weight. I'm very nervous and very uncomfortable with this. I know I am very out of shape, and I don't want to fail. But we'll see what happens.

All of the classes I have are amazing. I'm really excited about them all. I am mildly concerned with the work load, but only because I am a procrastinator and I plan to be very very busy this semester.

The Organization Fair is tommorow. That's where I'll be signing up for FPS and NBS to hopefully work on more film shoots this year. I'd still like to work as a host on The Gentlemen's Club doing craft corner, and I really want to try out for director of Tracking. But other than that, I really want out of TV this year.

I want to poduce some of my OWN things, and I want to make them EVVY Award winners. That's my goal.

That's scary.

First Day Of School / A Day I Can't Forget

2006-09-11T21:41:00.000-04:00

Well, today was the first day of class. I had "Writing the Short Subject", and though it is going to be a very labor intensive class with lots and lots of writing, I think that I am going to like it a lot.

In other news, today is September 11th.

I thought about posting a long diatribe or reflective peice of writing. But I'm not. Why? Because I'm tired of thinking about war and terrorism. It seems like "we are at war with eastasia, we have always been at was with eastasia"/ Except replace Eastasia with Terrorism--No, wait, replace Terrorism with freedom.

Think what you will about that.

I love America, and I am so scared for the future of our land. Its enough for me to really not want kids. I don't won't anyone to hate me for the world I left for them to fix.

Tommorow I have three more classes: Islam in the world, Editing for Film and Video, and Preformance for Television. They should all be pretty good. As for other things? Well, I'll just have to do my best and try a little harder. I'm going to be going to the gym, and I'm trying to walk for at least half an hour everyday. I'll keep you updated on how that's going.

Take it easy, and good night.

Workin' on the Chain Gang

2006-08-30T23:49:00.000-04:00

So I'm capturing footage for a 8-10 minute orientation video. It's pretty funny, but it's also been a cross-country epic, so to speak. We'vc got all this stuff to log and capture. Probably over 9 hours worth!

Granted, full interviews were conducted with each staff memeber they encountered for a seperate project, which is why the footage is so much longer than the final project.

In short, it's going to be an interesting time, as I stay up late and try to edit all of this crap rogether and keep a cool head the entire time. Wish me luck!

Tommorow is the last day before I head out to Spencer, MA for the Spencer Fair. I'm kinda bummed that I have to go, but I will make the money that I need, and that is all that's important.

Aaarrgh! - And Other Musings From The First Days Back At School

2006-08-29T23:39:00.000-04:00

So apparently blogger has integrated with/been bought out by Google.

HOWEVER, since I already have an account, it is NOT integrated, and at least at this juncture, it appears that the only way I will be able to integrate will be to create a new blog. Which I am not about to do after almost 3 years of blogging.

What else is new?

Well, I'm back at school, editing segments for Fast-Forward/Rewind, a show that documents freshman orientation week. I actually should be editing right now. But I'm not. I'm already staying up to late and not getting enough sleep, even though no one is here and I am not even that busy yet. I'm really nervous about this year. If I don't step up this year, I feel like I never will. This could be a banner year, or a failure year.

Pete Chvany said I looked like I've lost 15 pounds. In reality, I've only lost about 5, but I can already tell it will be short lived unless I get a fitness regimine going. I need to either walk or go to the gym three times a week at least, and cut down drastically on my soda consumption.

In other news, I talked for over an hour with one of the security gaurds at Emerson named Susan. She was born in Kenya and moved here around 40. She has a facinating life. Interestingly enough, she found out I was Mormon and we talked about Utah. She lived in Logan, UT for a few years when she first arrived in America, and then when she went back to Kenya she told all of her friends that there was no alchohol in America! (Utah has relatively little in terms of bars and drinking). Anyway, we had a great conversation, and I already feel like I know her a lot better. She told me that the personal assistant to the school's attorney is a Mormon, and that we should meet. I agreed.

Anyway, when I left, I bumped into a guy asking for money. I recognized him as the guy who had asked me for money the first day I had got back to Boston, and I had given him around a dollar in change. I told him "You asked me for money the other day" and he said, "No, that wasn't me" and I proceeded to describe what he was wearing, and he said "Oh yeah, that was me". He seemed taken aback, and I'm not sure why. I can hypothosize that he was suprised that I had seen him.

I had looked at him and seen him.

In the city you learn to look away and ignore the poverty and panhandling around you. But I saw him and rocognized him two days later, in the dark. And I think it shocked him that I knew and treated him as a person. I'll never know his story and I just hope he can get to a better position someday.

It's certainly been an interesting time. I'm getting anxious about the future, but we'll just have to see what happens. I'm going to try and post for a little bit every night.

Now, on to that editing!

4 Days... And counting!

2006-08-23T13:27:00.000-04:00

I cannot believe I am moving back to school in four days... I am psyched!

When I was a kid, you could never have convinced me that a time would come that I would wish summer break would be over.

Hope all is well. I am heading up to Union, ME in about an hour to work the fair for another 3 days. Wish me luck and survival.

Shi-tastic Day!

2006-08-15T22:42:00.000-04:00

today was a bundle of crap from minute one. Though I didn't have to wake up until 9am, I was woken by construction and banging from the back alley way behind the house. So I rolled around for almost two hours drifting in and out of sleep. Then I woke up, checked my e-mail, showered, and (now this was unusual) made some breakfast. Normally, I don't think to really eat breakfast, so I ended up leaving about 5-7 minutes later than I usually do.

This would prove to be my downfall.

I was drowsy and inattentive while driving to work. I've drive Route 136 hundreds of times, and I am very aware of changes in the road surfaces, speeds, curves and corners. When I got into Durham, I reduced speed to 40 mph, (its a 35mph zone) and cruised through. After passing the junction of Route 9 West and the softball field, I began to speed up to 55mph, knowing that around the next corner the speed limit became 50 mph again.

I saw the blue and white flashing lights and thought "That'd better not for me." But I knew they were--I'd been having a premonition, a prompting, if you will that I was going to get pulled over today. Ever since I first got onto 136 I kept thinking that I was going to get pulled over. And here it was, happening.

The officer TELLS ME that when he first spotted me that I was going 40, (as I told you all) and that I sped up to 54 mph as I rounded the corner! Just so you know, by the time he had pulled me over, I was almost 3/4 of a mile INTO the 50mph zone. This shows you how close I was to the 50mph zone when I was spotted. I didn't admit to anything, but I was given a ticket for doing 54 in a 35mph zone. A 185 dollar infraction. PLUS my insurance card said my insurance had expired (it hadn't, I just hadn't been given a new card from Sarah yet). But that was another 175 dollar infraction. Fortunately, the insurance one will be a cinch to contest. I am still debating whether or not I will contest the speeding ticket. I am going to go back and take photos because I think I can get the fine reduced if not erase. I mean I was literally 1000 feet from the 50 mph zone. I mean, I'll take a 50 dollar ticket for doing 54 in a 50, that's fair. I WAS speeding 4 over. But I NEVER go 19 over, that's not me.

So I went to work, mood soured by my perfect record being spoiled, and my soon to be through the roof insurance rates. I am sure that it won't matter that I have had a FLAWLESS driving record for 3 years. They will just see that I am a Male under 25 and assume that I am a reckless and irresponsible adult. (Sexual profiling is still an okay type of descrimination, as long as it's towards men, not women.)

Upon getting to work (15 minutes late, when the boss has recently been cracking down on tardiness) I found that we were SWAMPED by french canadians. It was busier than a weekend, even though it was a TUESDAY. So instead of being able to chill and hang clothes and listen to music, I had to work on the floor, making pitiful attempts to help customers and fruitlessly cleaning the floor (zipping, tucking, hanging) just to see it destroyed the moment I walked away. I went to lunch a half and hour late because I could get a moments free time, and I decided that I needed junk food because I was in such a bad mood. I grabbed my ticket out of my car so I could read it over at lunch. I walked to McDonalds because Freeport was so packed with people that if I had driven I would have never found a space within a mile of my work.

I called Sarah and vented my problems as I ate a big mac and fries. I totally forgot to read the ticket.

Which is why at about an hour after lunch I realized that my ticket was missing. After work I retraced my steps, asked if it had been turned in at McDonalds, but to no avail. I LOST MY F-ING TICKET WITHIN 5 HOURS. NOW I have to figure out how to get another copy, only to contest it.

THEN my boss asked me to stay an extra hour because we'd been so understaffed.

Awesome. SO I didn't even get home until 8pm, even though I was supposed to work 10-6pm.

I Survived!

2006-08-08T11:06:00.000-04:00

So I made it!

Thank you for all your prayers, I know that they were pouring in. I could tell because the week was actually very bareable and I was fairly happy through it.

So tonight I drive down to plymouth and shoot "The Outdoor Type". I'm going to be acting as Nate, a camp councilor. It should be a lot of fun and a nice change from the work I have been doing.

Wish me luck.

I went shopping for clothes with my Mom, Sister and Grandmother, and I had a really nice time spending the day with them. After shopping, Mom Katie and I went candlepin bowling in Oxford. That was a blast, and I even won one game!

Anyway, I've got stuff to do, so I'll talk to you later. Love you all!

Ezra