Friday, December 30, 2005


I feel alone.

I am alone right now, but I feel alone, often times even when I am pyhsicaly with other people.

No self pity, I should be happy at how blessed I am and how easily things work out for me. As I think about it, I am rarely told no, and rarely cannot do what I set out to accomplish.

So why is it that I can't seem to make a decision, to figure things out? I have so many questions and I can't seem to find an answer to any of them. For example, I don't have anything more than a general goal of what I am supposed to do with myself once I graduate. This is only a question know because I need to decide where I want to focus. But I am afraid that I am so far in that if I change I'll be so far behind. I really really miss singing, and acting, and directing, and making movies with friends.

But am I doing anything about it? No. Am I inspired the way that I used to be? No. Can I even think straight? No.

I spoke to my old friend Dooley today, and he is trying to become a working actor. He's brave. I love acting. Maybe I would be thinking about how stupid I was for not going into film if I were in acting. I don't know.

Whatever, I need to go. Have a happy new year.

1 comment:

J-Pizzle said...

Knowing you... I'd say that no matter career you choose - you'll be successful at it. Also, you doubt yourself regardless of profession, skill level, or general accomplishments. It's pretty normal actually.

Although not plagueing me yet, I imagine the radio vs. TV issue is going to rear its ugly head into my life eventually.