Well, I've been working incredibly hard for the last little while, but part of me wants to know what's happening to me. I don't use my time as effectively as I should, because somehow I don't have enough time to do the things I need to do--and I end up doing them poorly or not at all.
I have a take-home mid-term exam for a class called British Liturature. It was a huge mistake to take this class in the first place, and I am going to pay for it with the grade that I will undoubtedly receive. It's due Thursday and I haven't started.
My Nightly News Show that I direct is going up tommorow morning at 10:30am, and I'm nervous because I've never done it before. We'll see what happens.
This weekend was the taping of the first of my two film II shoots. We shot on location in New Hampshire, and let me tell you, it was SUPER exhausting, but it was very fun, rewarding and I can't wait to see the footage when it comes back. In the mean time, if you'd like to see some stills from the production, visit our director's flickr account. He took some awesome stills, and you'll be able to see what our film is going to look like. I'm so excited.
I produced, but we worked with basically just the four of us, plus the two actors. I helped by Assting with the Camera, Gaffing, (setting up lights) in addition to my producer duties. I only got 3.5 hours of sleep before I got up at 5:20am. I didn't sleep until 2:30am the next day. And I only got to sleep for three hours that night too. But I now have my midterms, EVVY's stuff to worry about, Taxes, housing, financial aid, W2's, Homework, reading, why my computer is acting up, cleaning, packing and doing all that stuff that you have to do. (This is a truncated list.)
Well, I always feel tired... maybe I am diabetic or something? I doubt it.
I loved working on this film, and I had an amazing time, and while I was doing it I really felt like all my decisions to spend all my (and everyone elses) money on this film school were affirmed. However, I still don't feel like I know enough or have enough experience... In fact, I feel like I am slowing down... and the one thing that you can't do in this day and age is slow down. Or you get left in the dust. I want to make a film, I want to make something amazing, and I want to be in a creative role... but I keep finding myself in Producer roles. I don't really like it as much, but it seems that I'm pretty good at it. Is this God's way of guiding me, or am I just not being assertive enough to get into my creative roles. Who knows. I sure don't.