Thursday, April 15, 2010

Directing Dream

I had a dream I was directing a really big budget film (at least for a student film) and all these people my age or younger where my crew. All I knew is that I was the director, and I had no idea who was my producer, my 1st AD, my DP, etc. Everyone was just kinda wandering around and nothing was getting done. I was so embarrassed that I didn't know my crew that I just tried to deduce the people who where in what jobs by observing. But it did not become apparent, and because I wasn't working with my people to set up shots, nothing was getting done, and over the course of the morning, everyone found themselves in some kind of break-room watching TV.

I finally came to my realization and I leapt up on the arm of the chair, clapped my hands and said "HEY! Good morning everyone, got a few questions that are a bit embarrassing but I'm the director so listen up. Who here is the 1st AD?"

An Asian guy timidly raised his hand.

"You're the first AD?" He nodded. "Would you mind telling me why everyone is watching TV?"

He started to speak, and I stopped him. "Did you make a shooting schedule?" He shook his head no.

"Then you're useless."

I turned to the room. "Who is a good 1st AD?" a few hands shot up. I fired him and elected two fresh faced kids (a boy and a girl) to be co-AD's (or 1st and 2nd if you prefer). And quickly, I began reassigning jobs, and things started happening.

I felt empowered again! I was in charge, it was I who could make all the decisions--embarrassment or shame be damned. Maybe I hired this guy in the first place, and forgot... or maybe I didn't select my crew, another misstep. But I do know that after I got over feeling ashamed for making a mistake, I was able to correct it.

Guilt, shame and fear are undoubtedly Satan's tools to damn us up from finding our true selves and our purposes here on earth.

Anyway, happy Thursday all!

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