The Breakfast Club vs. American Teen

So I was given a gift subscription to Netflix! And while browsing and building my queue, I encountered a movie called American Teen. The cover art struck me as oddly familiar. And that's because it's a direct parody of The Breakfast Club, right down the the tagline.

TBC: "Five strangers with nothing in common, except each other"

AT: "They were five total strangers, with nothing in common, except the school they went to."

WTF? It seems that someone took a classic John Hughes film and modeled a "documentary" around it. I guess I have to watch it as see.

You Know Nothing (About Comedy)

I was reading comments on a the last truly comedic video I made:

And I came across this little exchange I made 7 months ago. It makes me smile even today... hopefully you'll laugh a little too.

And if not--keep it to yourself!

Mortified - San Francisco!!!

Soooo, I'm going to be performing my Mortified piece in San Francisco this coming weekend!

WHAT: MORTIFIED SF (Ezra reading his childhood journals)
WHEN: Friday, April 17, 2009 (and an Encore performance on Saturday, April 18!)
TIME: 8:00 PM
VENUE: Make-Out Room
ADDRESS: 3225 22nd St, 94110
COST: $12 adv ; $15 door
TICKETS: By Web

It's sure to be a fantastical blast! Rave reviews poured out of Los Angeles after Ezra's break-out reading, audience members laughed, cried and cheered! You will too!

I have a comp ticket for both nights, but I don't know anybody in San Francisco--so if you know someone who can make it who is awesome and deserving, let me know!

AIG Lynch Mob

I would join a lynch mob to kill AIG executives receiving bonuses.  Don't give me this "contractual obligation" bullshit.  You have no money to pay these bonuses.  Therefore, you don't pay them.  When I bought a plane ticket on Independence Air and they went UNDER, what happened to my contractually obligated flight?!?! They ceased operations, and I never got a cent.

Same deal--you would have been bankrupted and gotten NO BONUSES if John and Jane Taxpayer hadn't bailed your asses out.  Insolvency=No Money to pay bonuses.

In my job, if I burn the building down and bankrupt the company, I don't get a bonus, I get fired, and never work again.

Unless you work for AIG, apparently.

FUCK YOU AIG.

Seriously.

Eggs

Last night I had a dream about eggs.

I don't know exactly why--perhaps its because I've eaten eggs for breakfast twice in the last 4 days, and I've only had eggs three times this year, so it's overload.

Anyway, in the dream, I was rummaging in the fridge, and I kept finding half full cartons of expired eggs. One behind the water filter, another tucked behind the condiments, and another nestled beneath the produce.

There is some truth to this egg waste--for some inexplicable reason, a 6 pack of white eggs costs 1.79 at Ralphs and a dozen costs 1.99. My bargain hunting, cost saving mind can't fathom 20 cents for 6 additional eggs. "And plus" I reason to myself "I can always hard-boil the extras when they get past expiration".
It's been a learning experience--so far I've yet to boil my eggs exactly right--just a little too soft in the middle.

"Why am I soft in the middle? The rest of my life is so hard! I need a photo opportunity! I want a shot at redemption!  Don't wanna end up a cartoon in a cartoon graveyard!"

I do burst out in song, so I figured, why not do it on my blog?

In closing, I wanted to share something HORRIFYING with you.  It's called a Century Egg.

"Century egg, also known as preserved egg, hundred-year egg, thousand-year egg, and thousand-year-old egg, is a Chinese cuisine ingredient made by preserving duck, chicken or quail eggs in mixture of clay, ash, salt, lime, and rice straw for several weeks to several months, depending on the method of processing. After the process is completed, the yolk becomes a dark green, cream-like substance with a strong odor of sulphur and ammonia, while the white becomes a dark brown, transparent jelly with little flavour or taste. The transforming agent in the century egg is its alkaline material, which gradually raises the pH of the egg from around 9 to 12 or more. This chemical process breaks down some of the complex, flavorless proteins and fats, which produces a variety of smaller flavourful compounds."

I told you it was shocking.

I'm Mortified!

Guess what everybody!  I received an e-mail the other day from Anne at Mortified--the comedic excavation of childhood angst that I auditioned for back in early January:

So, i talked to neil and we do want to have you in the march show!

Yay!

So on March 11th, peeps, I will be reading some "angst written" stuff from my journals.

So here's the breakdown--

WHAT: Mortified LA
WHEN: Wednesday, March 11, 2009
TIME: 8:00 PM
VENUE: King King
ADDRESS: 6555 Hollywood Blvd., 90028

COST: $15 advance, $20 at door.

I'm very excited, and hope to see you all there!

Hash House Harriers

On Saturday, I went to Woodley Park with my roommate Joe. While there, we took a walk over the the Sepulveda Basin Dam. This flood control dam protects the San Fernando Valley from washing away during the rainy season.

While there, we climbed up and over the spillways of the dam, which are very steep and require a good running start to surmount. (Video forthcoming)

While at the top of the spillway, I looked out into the channel of the Los Angeles river.  Three middle aged white men in t-shirts, shorts and sneakers ran along the riverbed.  As they ran, I noticed that every 100 feet or so, one of the men would reach into a plastic shopping bag and hurl a handful of white powder into the wall of the channel.

"What in the hell?"  My mind, hard-wired into the post-9/11 mentality, immediately assumed the worst.  Terrorists were putting anthrax in the Los Angeles river.

Silly terrorists, don't you know the LA River is already poison?

I was contemplating in my mind, what to do.  I'd hate to have the deaths of thousands on my conscience for not speaking up, but at the same time, I knew there had to be a logical explanation.  As I was thinking this, a second group of folks seemed to come up towards the dam.  I shouted out to them.

"Do you know what's going on?"

"We're Hash House Harriers" he replied.

"Do you know how crazy and suspicious it looks to be throwing white powder into a body of water? I was this close to calling the police!"

He waved his hands above his head "No, no! It's baking powder, it's a biodegradable trail marker."  He climbed up a pipe attached to the spillway as he spoke. "we've been around since the 40's.  We blaze trails and drink beer."

I laughed.  He continued. "We once did a trail in an Ikea in Connecticut, and we were brought up on Federal charges. Dismissed, of course."

The little explorer in me was so enraptured by this amazingly adventurous concept.  Blazing a trial, it ties in with all my favorite activities, exploring, geocaching, hiking, urban exploration and infiltration.  Of course, I don't drink, and it seems like that's supposed to be half the point for this group.

Needless to say, it was fun to encounter this, and maybe I'll try it out someday.  Just thought I'd share.

I'm Not Dead, Just Working

--which is a good thing. It seems everyone I know who moved out here after me has had problems finding employment. (Especially employment relating to their field of study)

I'm glad, privileged, JOYOUS that I have a steady job that pays well--very well, in that I get overtime and double-time occasionally. It's a great company to work for and I'm growing a lot.

This weekend I've got some plans to hang with friends on Super Bowl Sunday, not to watch the game--more to hang out and watch the commercials--after all, three spots will have been personally QC'd by me (not that I was the only one doing it, might you)

Anyway, what else? Well, life limps along at subsonic speeds. I am still living in California, and loving the wonderful spring weather. :) I know, winter is like already over, and I'm totally fine with that.

I'm going to be taking my trip to Yosemite that I won on the Price Is Right in April, I've had the dates confirmed--now I just need to find someone to go with me...

Anyway, just wanted to give everyone a heads up that I'm still here, would love to hear from you.

CRASH!

I've been up since 4:30, when I was awoken by the sound of a woman screaming.

"Help, help us, somebody help!"

It was one of the most scary things I've ever heard. I jumped out of bed and ran to my window, opening it, trying to assess if it was safe to go investigate. My worst fear was that this woman was being attacked, or raped.

It was a car wreck. My roomate and I both ran out as his girlfriend dialed 911. "Grab the first aid kit", Joe reminded me. I ran out, and the pictures tell the tale. An SUV had hit a parked car flipped, and the passengers were trying to crawl out. Other men had gotten out just before and got the first woman pulled out. Coolant was on the ground, and radio music poured from the speakers.

I did not smell gas, thank God. I held the driver door open as a man who'd climbed up on top of the vehicle pulled the the four occupants out, one by one. I told the man on top to reach in and turn off the ignition and I turned off the headlights. Like I said, I didn't smell gas, but I didn't want to find out the hard way.

No one was badly injured. The driver had a cut on the bridge of his nose, and had blood in his mouth. I put on my latex gloves and wiped his blood off with gauze, then used alcohol to sterilize the cut that was visible. I wasn't sure what to do for the inside of his mouth. (He'd probably bitten down on his cheek or tongue when he impacted.) By that time, the fire department and the police showed up, and they took over. I was glad to have helped, and one officer even told me thanks for my help.

I don't really feel like I did anything major, but just having someone care for you in an incident like that probably was helpful in keeping him calm. I made him sit down while I cleaned him up.

Anyway, it's weird to think that my whole building ran out to help. Northridge hit Southern California at the same time of morning--I can only imagine what that must be like after an experience like this.

Very Good Mortified Audition

Hey everyone,

Just wanted to flash a quick update saying that my Mortified audition on Sunday went really well. They said that they want me to come back again so we can get more in depth into my materials and really uncover the story that they want. They really liked the entries where I discuss my rivalry with Peter W, a friend who I was insanely jealous of--so that might get used.

I am really excited. They want me to attend the February show--on the guest list, mind you, to see what they are all about. I'm really hoping I get to perform in one of the shows.

Anyway, it's time to head off to start the work-week. Best wishes to you all!

Mortified Audition

This Sunday, I'll be heading down to Koreatown to audition (really more of an interview, though) for "Mortified".

Mortified is "a Comic Excavation of Adolescent Writing, Art & Media"

I'll be bringing my journals, videos, blogs, school papers and report cards down to the interview, and we'll spend 45 minutes talking, reading and sharing.  If they see a story, if I'm what they're looking for, I could find myself performing my adolescent works before a live audience, or maybe even make it into their next book!

I'm really excited--this fall I had been reading my journals at Crimson Spot, the Baha'i Center's Sunday open mic night, and they were very very well received.  People actually asked for more--that's always a good sign.

So we'll see how it goes, I'll be sure to let you know.

On a side note, I feel bad because I've been blogging more lately, and I've not been writing in my journal.  There is never enough time in the day. Darn it.

New Things, New Year

So I splurged and purchase and 120GB iPod Classic.  Sue me.

My old iPod video had been dropped (one too many times, I'm sure) and it's screen had cracked.  I ordered a new screen, but I think in doing my home repair I cracked the logic board--this is a 100 dollar part.  So I said, eh, just go for it, get a nice new one.

So I used the money my grandma gave me for christmas to purchase my iPod Classic--which I love.

I'm writing this on my lunchbreak at work, which I've found to be valuable time for blogging, writing my my journal, and more.

The new year has begun, and though I put on a pound or two over the holidays, I'm back to the gym everyday after work.  Burn, baby, burn!

The fact of the matter is that this year is going to be great.  I can feel it--I'm working towards so many good things, and I think in the end, the payout will be great.

Anyway, just wanted to give you all a quick update from beautiful, sunny Southern California.