Saturday, August 14, 2004

Automotive Stores, Laziness, Orientation and Such

So I was a big lazy jerk today. I got up because ny sister Sarah called me around nine o'clock. I ate some food and went back to sleep-until ONE-THIRTY in the afternoon!!!! OH BOY!

So I still owed Tanner about 15 dollars, so I said "Lets go to Wendy's!" (They are the only fast food restaurant that accepts VISA AND MASTERCARD! WHOOPEE! I don't understand why more businesses don't accept credit cards! I love plastic, its so darn convenient.

Upsized Chicken Finger Meal (No Sauce)
Includes Biggie Size fries and Orange Drink (Hi-C)
5 piece Chicken Nugget (No Sauce)
Large Frostee Dessert

Upsized Double Cheeseburger Meal (No Onions)
Includes Biggie fries and Dr. Pepper
5 piece Chicken Nugget (BBQ Sauce)
Small Frostee Dessert

Anyway, after that, Tanner and I came home and watched two episodes ofAqua Teen Hunger Force, and let me tell you what, that show gets funnier the more you watch it. Oh man, it can be disturbing though.

Upon dropping Tanner at work, I went up to Bernard's School Of Hair Fashion to get my hair cut. However, I forgot that they are closed on Saturdays, so I went to VIP Auto Parts to get a back up light for my truck.

Let's talk about auto parts stores, shall we? (Get in the Zone! AutoZone! --We're not AutoZone!--Guys at Advanced Auto Parts) Sorry, that's an inside joke between me and John N.

Anyway, as I was walking around the auto parts store, I thought about how cool some of the stuff looked, and how awesome it would be to "Pimp Out" my car. Then I SNAPPED OUT OF IT. I realized that all of this was CRAP that Neanderthal men buy to try and prove to other moronic men that they don't have a small penis. I mean, who really, HONESTLY is going to care that you have sweet looking PEDAL COVERS. I mean, OH BOY, you could put all of this money into your car, and it still is a Honda Civic, okay, and no one is going to care.

Needless to say I was very frightened, so I asked for the bulb size I needed, installed it and got out of there. (Oh, I schedualed myself for an Alignment for Monday at 3pm. Don't let me forget!)

I got all of my orientation stuff in the mail the other day. Let me read you a sentence from the cover letter.

"...All the staff at Orientation Headquarters are eagarly anticipating your star-studded arrival and cannot wait to get what will surely be one of the best weeks of your life underway. You can call or e-mail us at anytime! We love hearing from you!"

OF COURSE YOU LOVE HEARING FROM ME! I'M PAYING YOU 16,000 DOLLARS A SEMESTER! I love how friggin' bombastic these people sound. I've never met a person who thought that orientation was fun and exciting, NEVER! Oh well.

Well, my IBC Root Beer is gone, so I better wrap up today's post. Please forgive me once again for my recent lapse in updates.

P.S. Anna, Emma, Natasha, I need your weblog addresses again, I lost them when Tanner reformatted his harddrive. Thanks


Anonymous said...

damn boy u eat alot, no wonder ur so HUGE!

Megan said...

Leave Essswa alone.. because he's AWESOME and HILARIOUS! Love ya Ezra!

Ezra said...

Anonymous was right--what the heck was I thinking?