Sunday, October 31, 2004

Sunday, Sadness, and Suckage

"You didn't go to stake conference this weekend."

"I was busy!"

"But if Michael Badnarik had been in town you would have made time to see him."

"Yeah, But--"

You could have gone, but you didn't because you have your priorities backwards you sorry, pathetic son-of--"

"Please! I'm trying! It gets so stressful, and I don't know anybody anyway."

"You are disgusting. I don't understand you at all."

"Niether do I"

I'm sorry, but I feel like that. I know its probably not that big of a deal, but I feel like a failure. I'm not going to institute, because there aren't any times when I don't have class, and I've skipped church to do work twice already. It's not okay. Plus I'm not reading my scriptures or praying at all. That's why I don't feel like I deserve any help most of the time. Sigh.

Yeah, so moving on, I am in the labs again working on my website project, but it seems to be coming along pretty well now, so I decided to do an update. I hope you all enjoyed the pictures in the previous post. It was really neat to be there.

So I feel sad because a lot of people seem to have already made some close friends to do stuff with, and I still find myself alone a lot. I can't wait for break, college is really stressful. Especially with all the extracurriculars I am doing.

Anyway, life just seems to be going pretty slow and low right now. I just don't feel fulfilled right now, and I am praying its not because this isn't the right thing for me to be doing, because I really think I want to be in the entertainment industry, and I've already put so much into it.... Argh

I'm going to get back to work now, wish me luck or give me a call and we'll chat for a little bit on my phone. (For those of you with my number)


John said...

Hey Ezra
Sorry things aren't going so well right now. Keep hanging in there, though. You knew what you were getting into when you decided to go to Emerson and I still believe you have the ability to do it (but you can't do it alone.) Only God can help you get through these tough times so keep praying! Also remember that this is the hardest thing you're likely to experience. Doing something for the first time is always hardest when you first start. I know that you've been really busy lately, but have you attempted to find someone to hang out with? I know half of the campus is weird but there is bound to be someone you can get along with. It's easy for me to say all these things becuase I'm not in your shoes, but you don't have to take my advise.
Good luck and "always keep on the bright side of life *whistle* *whistle* *whistle*"

Anonymous said...

Hey you just do the best you can, and keep doing your best to improve, and remember you do have friends, the kind that count... not just shallow beer drinking buddies. We love ya!!! Belle